Broadcast Muse: 'Dancing With the Stars' Worth Watching

I have never been a regular viewer of “Dancing With the Stars.” The show puzzles me. Should I admire the dancing? Or hope the stars fall down and go boom? But a friend convinced me I must tune in this cycle. Her reasons:

Michael Bolton: He crawled out of a doghouse for a routine, but you couldn’t tell whether he was embarrassed, because the Botox has paralyzed his face. He was eliminated this week, but not before attacking a judge for being “inappropriate and disrespectful.”

Audrina Patridge: A week ago a judge compared her to a show pony, which was kind of OK because she had ribbons in her hair. This week the same judge compared her to Secretariat, the ace racehorse who was euthanized at age 19 because of a potentially incurable hoof condition.

Bristol Palin: She dances to songs that sum up her life: “Mama Told Me Not to Come,”"You Can’t Hurry Love.” What, is “Like a Virgin” too obvious?

Florence Henderson: A 76-year-old white woman can jump!

Margaret Cho: The outspoken Korean-American comic is trying really hard and, despite her tough demeanor, needs our votes as affirmation that, yes, she is a pretty good dancer.