The Quotable Ryan Adams

Ryan Adams played Strathmore the day after Bryan Adams played Strathmore and the world did not end in a vortex of confusion. In fact, Ryan Adams, who used to bicker with fans who called out for the other Adams’ “Summer of ’69” at shows, was in great spirits all night. His performance, a two-and-a-half-hour career-spanning set, was entirely acoustic, with Adams using the silence between songs to deadpan jokes and fire off non sequiturs. Adams was so funny and charming, despite his admittedly depressing songs, that we kept a running log of his many ramblings, the best of which we’ve compiled below:

On touring with his opener, Jason Isbell:
“Every time I tour with Jason, besides that I burp more and get some of my Southern accent back, there are more condiments around. Always.”

After a story about planning to go scuba-diving in Australia that trailed off abruptly:
“I’ve been watching a lot of ‘Doctor Who’ lately, so I told you the punchline earlier. But we’d need the TARDIS to get there.”

After playing the classic “Rescue Blues,” prior to performing the newer “Invisible Riverside”:
“I’m going to change the theme for the night from existential pain to confusion. [pause] Just to see what that does.”

After the somber “Two”:
“They’re just getting slower and slower, it’s like my music is dying.”

As he shuffled through a notebook, looking for a song’s lyrics:
“I had so much to say at one point.”

After a female fan requested a song from Adams’ much-maligned album “Rock and Roll”:
“I [expletive] hate that song. … I was trying to do the worst impression of U2 ever.”

On encores:
“The whole thing is a [expletive] ruse.”

On what happens when he plays an encore:
“Just in case there was one thing that was still optimistic about your life, I’ll come back and crush it like an ant.”

To Jason Isbell, who played with Adams during the encore:
“If my songs were people and your songs were people, and they happened to meet at a bar one night, your songs would kick my songs’ ass.”

Of course:
“My songs would be like a combination between a cobra and a poodle — a cobra doodle.”

In summation:
“If you leave depressed and hurt just because of my songs, then I’ve done my job.”