Zombiism 101

After a brief hiatus, “The Walking Dead” returned over the weekend with the second half of Season 2 (AMC, Sundays at 9 p.m.) and a promise from the new show runner to “amp up the intensity” of the popular zombie melodrama.

Eager to share with a loved one, I invited my wife to watch. Here’s what transpired.

A weirdly decaying girl staggers toward other people.

Wife: What is she?

Me: A zombie.

Wife: What are zombies? Are they from outer space?

Me: No, they are humans who are dead but not really dead, and they want to eat flesh.

Wife: Oh. Why is that woman crying?

Me: Life is sad when you’re surrounded by zombies.

A zombie is shot, then clubbed with a shovel.

Wife: Yuck. You know, watching this show is like a punishment. What are the redeeming qualities?

Me: It inspires me to go forth and do battle with zombie-like individuals who relentlessly annoy me, and to club them with a shovel if need be.

Wife: And they’ll rise up again.

Me: We’ll have to tune in next week to find out!