Spawn of the Stars

SOMETIMES WE FEEL GUILTY for picking on Britney Spears too much, especially while the tabloids are delighting in her parental missteps and splashing baby Sean Preston's face on their front pages. But somehow, every time Brit tries to show the public she's a good mother she screws up. The latest incident: As the New York Post reports, Spears was trying to balance her son and a glass of water while walking when she stumbled and nearly lost her grip on the tike, who lost his hat. Bodyguards reacted quickly as photographers snapped photos. Once stabilized, Spears reportedly growled "That's why I need a gun." Oh dear.

We can only hope the eventual spawn of Paris Hilton is sent directly to boarding school to keep it safe. That has disaster written all over it.
Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images
» "Boob Brit's Baby Bobble" [NYP]

» STRUGGLING WITH CELEBABIES: Spears isn't the only star with a child in the spotlight. According to Slate, we're all having trouble coming to terms with the child of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie -- the Brangelina baby. What will that much-heralded birth mean for us and our families? Thankfully, we have Matt Haber to give us this helpful guide on how to answer our children's questions once this earth-shattering event does occur:

Is the Brangelina baby better than me? The only way to answer this is directly and honestly. Tell them: Yes, the Brangelina baby is better than you. But Mommy and Daddy, Grandma and Grandpa all love you very, very much. Less than they love the Brangelina baby, but with as much of their hearts still available.

» COUNTER-ATTACK: Just like Spam the lunch meat, electronic spam will never go away. A company with noble intentions to spam the spammers shut down because, apparently, a vicious spammer counterattack based in Russia did it in. [CNet]

» DRUNKEN TENANT: And we thought that our apartment needed a cleanup. Look at this place in Ogden, Utah. It's home to an estimated 700,000 cans of Coors Light, left by a tenant who lived there for eight years. That averages out to 24 cans per day. [KSL via Boing Boing]

With contributions from Donn M. Fresard