A Waste of 'Time'

| Print Post This | Like (0) | Comments (0)

TRUST US, despite Time Magazine's assertion to the contrary, you did not have the most impact on the world in 2006. Not even close. You likely didn't even make much of an impact here in D.C. Or even in your own neighborhood. Sit and think about this for a moment ... did you even make a very significant impact in your own household? Hmm, for example, when you were sitting in your stained boxer-briefs in front of your computer screen watching '80s music videos on YouTube at 2 a.m., did you feel like you were revolutionizing the world around you, changing society forevermore with each click on the next pirated Twisted Sister live performance? No? Trust that feeling. You're not very important. Sorry, Time, you're wrong.

To be fair, we can kind of see what they're trying to get at, though — that this movement Time is trying to document was not spearheaded by one specific person, but, rather, by normal people. But the problem is, they stop too short. Sure, "you" helped contribute to the devolution of media control and whatnot. But what was really responsible for "you" choosing to do so? Exaaaactly. This is why we are starting the first-ever Express Person of the Year award. And the Express Person of the Year for 2006 is ... drum roll please ... "brains."
» "Shiny happy people" [Comedy Central]

» NEED A CHEAP, EASY LAST-MINUTE GIFT IDEA? And you're a guy? [NBC]

» PUT ON YOUR YARMULKE, HERE COMES HANUKKAH, AND THERE GOES MY CAREER: Is this what it's come to, Adam? Is "The Hanukkah Song" the only lasting mark you're going to leave on the entertainment industry, one you're going to tiredly rehash every year? Start amassing names of notable Jews in February and keep collecting until you have enough for a new re-mix? C'mon, man, you're more talented than three chords and listing famous people with menorahs. [Adamsandler.com via YouTube]

» IT'S FUNNY: Because it's true. [Uncut]

Photo by Karen Bleier/AFP/Getty Images.