People: New Nose for New Boyfriend?

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NO REASON TO freak out about Jennifer Aniston getting plastic surgery on her face — everybody in Hollywood does it. Wondering what the new Jen will look like after her new face heals up? We've run a complicated computer simulation and fed it the statistical details of the parts of the face the procedure targeted, and the software was able to come up with a predicted resulting image ... and, drum roll please, get a first glimpse at the new Jen here. Which seems a little over the top if all you're trying to snag is Keanu Reeves.
» "Jennifer Aniston and Keanu Reeves' secret date?" [National Ledger]

» WE HOPE THIS RELATIONSHIP WORKS OUT: Because if they got married, her name would be Mandy AM, which we would then pronounce in a manner to rhyme with "candy-gram," and, boy oh boy would that make us laugh!
"AM & Mandy — more than friends?" [TMZ]

» WOW, MISS USA CERTAINLY IS WEARING A LOT OF BODY GLITTER: Especially around her nose. [Fox News]

» HEY CELEBRITIES: When will you people learn to stop driving cars already? [Foxes on Idol]

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