People: Talk Sweet Scienctific Nothings to Portman

A NEW WAY TO BOND WITH NAT. Let's say you bump into Natalie Portman. (Hey, you never know. Once this writer was almost run over by Avril Lavigne riding a bicycle, no lie). Sure, you could say something like "I loved you in 'Star Wars'" ... or ... "Both your rap video and cameo in Paul McCartney's video were awesome" ... or ... "I thought you looked cool with a shaved head." But let's be honest, you just know she's going to have heard that a million times over. If you really want to wow her, read the neuroscience dissertation that she co-authored while at Harvard. Dropping phrases like "frontal lobe activation" and "near-infrared spectroscopy" should get her attention. [Free Ride/Express; OhNoTheyDidn't]

» A DANCE TO REMEMBER: It's happened to all of us. You've had a few and all of the sudden it occurs to you: "I am such a terrific dancer!" So you start shaking it like there's no tomorrow, and you can feel eyes on you and you think to yourself "Oh they must be so impressed." Next time this happens, just remember this video of Bai Ling. [TMZ]

» BABY TALK: Not the 'goo goo ga ga' kind, we're talking about the bundles of joy that celebs are popping out recently. Oh and while we haven't heard anything concrete about whether Nicole Richie is or isn't preggers, you've got to admit this is a scary picture. [Fametastic; Planet Hiltron]

» COMMON SENSE: We're surprised this didn't happen sooner, but Lindsay Lohan has cancelled her 21st birthday bash. [E Online]

Photo by Koichi Kamoshida/Getty Images