Between the Bounces at the Verizon Center

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Last Friday, another Washington Wizards season ended with a playoff loss to the Cleveland Cavaliers. Meg Zamula took a few days to recover and compose some thoughts about her beloved Les Bulletz — or at least all the stuff that happens around the Wiz during a game at the Verizon Center.

DESPITE THE INJURIES, frustrating refereeing and occasional lack of offensive rebounding, it can't be denied that this season was entertaining. Even when the shots weren't falling, the Verizon Center tried hard to keep fans upbeat and engaged with non-basketball entertainment.

Here are the good, the bad and the startlingly unattractive aspects of the live Wizards experience.

THE GOOD

It was a banner year for the Kiss Cam. After years of Sixpence None the Richer's insipid "Kiss Me" serving as its soundtrack, someone apparently realized that the majority of Wizards fans do not spend the remainder of their leisure time watching "Dawson's Creek" reruns. Replacing Sixpence's tripe with Digital Underground's "Kiss Me and I'll Kiss You Back" was a significant improvement. And if you didn't have anyone to kiss you could still shimmy shimmy cocoa pop in your seat.

This season also provided fans with at least one classic Kiss Cam moment, when Wizards announcer Steve Buckhantz leaned over and lovingly smooched unsuspecting co-host Phil Chenier's ample forehead.

The adults featured on this year's Dance Cam tended to rely heavily on the lawn-sprinkler move, but D.C.'s children demonstrated enough rhythm and creativity to compensate. Hopefully the not-so-kid-friendly prize — a gift certificate to a seafood restaurant — won't discourage them in future efforts.

Big props to official Wizards DJ Big Tigger for keeping the predictable jock jams to a minimum. Maybe someone wanted to always hear Usher's "Yeah!" as the team takes the ball up the court, but not me. Tig's playlist mixed crowd-friendly hip-hop.

I'm not sure, but it looked like G-Man had been working out this year, too. Fortunately the extra bulk didn't inhibit his trampoline-assisted dunking in the slightest. Sometime younger companion Li'l G was missing in action this year, but he may have been overloaded with homework.

THE BAD

The Smile Cam was by far the least entertaining of the crowd cam Triple Crown. Remember Shanice's 1991 hit "I Love Your Smile"? Probably not, unless you've attended a game recently. So a soundtrack upgrade might help, but I'm advocating a bigger change:

This season the Nationals have been featuring a Flex Cam allowing the crowd to showcase their best Hulk Hogan impressions. The Wizards could easily do the same, although substituting a gym as official sponsor instead of the current dental practice would be advisable.

Call me a spoilsport, but I am not a huge fan of the Chipotle burrito giveaway. It is introduced by a Jumbotron skit in which backup forward Andray Blatche is chased by a hoard of young women, then hands off his box of Chipotle burritos to G-Wiz and then is shocked when the girls start chasing the mascot. Blatche's performance is fine, but the moment when the girls abandon him always evokes his solicitation arrest last summer. Let's hope he's now learned to keep some extra burritos on hand.

Also, I suspect that I am not alone in my curiosity about what the T-shirt gun would do to a burrito. Could that be tested, preferably on a night that isn't a White-Out?

Meanwhile, the Bucket Boys would make for a more exciting halftime show if I hadn't already seen them drumming as I exited the Metro escalator.

And I developed my distaste for Gymkana as an ACC fan, and not much has changed. About half of the total performance time is devoted to bringing out and putting away large padded mats, and in the interim adults perform tumbling routines that I might applaud if performed by an eight-year-old — but only to be supportive.

THE UGLY

Conceptually, the Papa John's Pizza Shot is fine: A fan takes a three-point shot, and if it goes down, the entire crowd received a coupon for a free Papa John's pizza.

In practice, things haven't been quite so simple. As it turns out, Coach Eddie Jordan bears no responsibility for the most pathetic statistic of the recently completed season: not a single pizza shot was completed.

We fans have only ourselves to blame for this poor showing.

Let's take inspiration from Brendan Haywood, who improved his free-throw shooting percentage by nearly 20 points this year, and devote our fan offseason to showing Roger Mason Jr. that he's not the only person in D.C. who can make a shot from downtown.

I have had a natural aversion to cheerleaders since middle school, but in the past year I developed a real empathy for the Wizards dance team. This might have something to do with the three current members named Meg, but mostly it stems from a strong belief that just as women deserve equal pay for equal work, no one should ever be compelled to wear unflattering spandex hot pants outside of Hooters.

Stretchy short shorts evoke diapers under the best of circumstances, and the comparison is unavoidable in white — one of the Wizards' team colors.

Not all of the dance team's outfits are so objectionable, fortunately. The referee-striped halter-skirt ensemble was relatively cute, and on one particularly cold night in March they were permitted to wear full-length pants, which made me very happy on their behalf.

Unfortunately, none of the games I attended this year featured the "Dunking Dancers," but I'm very much hoping to witness their collaboration with G-Man next season.

Rookie forward Oleksiy Pecherov equals comedy. Assuming he still won't be overburdened with playing time next year, putting Pecherov on the Jumbotron as frequently as possible should be a top priority. Pecherov's odd looks, developing English and general enthusiasm make every appearance a treat, whether he's competing for the title of Best Dressed Wizard or quoting a classic movie line. When he didn't get a chance to say "Life is like a box of chocolates" like his teammates, I was acutely disappointed.

The Wizards players certainly provided an entertaining year, from Gilbert Arenas' irreverent blog entries to DeShawn Stevenson's ever-evolving facial hair. And the Verizon Center may have a tough time keeping up with that standard, but with some improved halftime entertainment — and perhaps an exploding burrito — they may yet have a chance.

Pecherov photo by Dan Steinberg/DC Sports Bog