Idol Chatter: Syesha's Relief

Express' Greg Barber recaps the ousting of Syesha Mercado on "American Idol."

EVEN THOUGH the contestants won't be competing, it's clear from the buzz in the air and the clamor in the audience that this "American Idol" results broadcast will be more action-packed than most.

The show starts with a whip around the audience, and, oh, the "Idol" luminaries we see! Ex-contestants Michael Johns, Brooke White, Kristy Lee Cook and Ramiele Malubay! And former mentor Andrew Lloyd Webber!

And then it's cleavage-o-rama as the judges are introduced. Paula's girls are out for a night on the town — and don't get me started about the anatomical weirdness that her necklace engenders. Yikes.

And then there's Simon, who looks like he mugged a maitre d' on his way in, stole his shirt, then ripped off the top buttons. His outfit shows off much more of his chestal area than I would ever really want to see.

For the group sing, three very lonely looking Idolites — David Archuleta, David Cook and Syesha Mercado — strut out to sing the ironically titled "Ain't No Stoppin' Us Now." Which is funny, of course, since one of them will be stopped dead in their tracks tonight.

Hey, more former Idolites! Jason Castro! Amanda Overmyer and her hair! Chikezie! David Hernandez! It's strange how long it seems since we've seen some of them, doesn't it?

FUTURE TENSE
It's the, *sigh*, Ford entertainmercial! These never get old!

The song: "Heaven" by Los Lonely Boys. The plot: The Idolites stop by a mechanical fortune-teller, who, um, tells them ... their ... fortunes. Well, it's true. (Watch here.)

Syesha is a rich girl, but she's gone too far and she knows it don't matter anyway. Li'l David apparently morphs into a pint-sized Liberace, but without the bling. And David Cook owns a mansion with a front yard full of Fords. And then they walk outside the fortune-telling tent to discover they actually all have Fords! Yay! Fords!

Not revealed: Which one, y'know, wins the show. Minor detail. But if I was an "American Idol" contestant at this stage of the game, that might be the first question I'd ask.

FANTASY LAND
Here's a fun stat, by way of Seacrest: 56 million votes were cast Tuesday night. Something tells me some teenagers' phones nearly burst into flame from over-texting.

We can't get to the results just yet, so it's off to a confirmed "Idol" winner: Fantasia, who sings her song, "Bore Me." (Watch here.)

And she's certainly not boring. She's, um, definitely athletic. Her back-up dancers certainly get a workout. And the song is very peppy.

I really want to like Fantasia. I didn't watch her season of "Idol," but I remember the ferocious fan base she attracted and I was kind of excited to see what all the fuss was about.

This performance, though? It was a seizure set to music. The dumbfounded expression on Simon's face reflected the one on my mug as well. For me, her time on stage was three minutes of what-the-heck-was-that confusion. If the Tasmanian Devil put out a record, that's what it would sound like.

Come and get me, Fantasia fans. I've got two recaps left. Make 'em count.

UTAH STATE OF MIND
It's elimination time, and Li'l David's the first out. It must be nerve-wracking. But nowhere near as strange as his trip home.

It's one. Long. Scream. Everywhere that kid goes, it seems, there are high-pitched wails. Every dog in Murray, Utah, must've been apoplectic for the duration of David's trip. (Watch here.)

How does all that adulation affect a 17-year-old? In David's case, it brings out some tears during a trip to his hometown shopping mall. "I can't believe how many people came out for this," a visibly emotional David says. "I just can't thank them enough. It means — it makes it all worth it knowing how many people appreciate this, all the hard work I've been doing for this."

Uh. Yeah. 'Kay.

The funnier moment: In the limo after the event. "I can't believe how many people came out," David says. "Oh, gosh, where did they park?"

And then, he goes back to his high school, where there are banners and balloons and everyone cheers for him. It's an experience we can all relate to, of course, right? Everyone in your high school cheering you? Embracing you? Telling you how wonderful you are? How unique we all are as people? How each of us should be celebrated for the gifts we bring to the table? How everyone's special? How everyone touches each other's lives in small yet ultimately meaningful ways? Didn't we all feel that loved and appreciated as teenagers?

Yeah, me neither. But the ones who did usually look like hell at the reunions.

We're back on stage with Li'l David, who's given no clue by Seacrest as to whether he'll stay or go — but he gets to sit through his videotaped show obituary anyway, as I'm guessing all of the Top 3 will have to tonight.

HEAD OVER HEELS
Syesha's out next, and we get to see her triumphant trip back to her hometown of Sarasota, Fla. She's on TV. She's cheered by crowds. She has a baby thrust into her hands? Woah. (Watch here.)

She's feted by local officials. And she, too, cries. And then she pulls up to her house in a limo, which has to be a mighty fine feeling.

Her mom seems totally overwhelmed as they drive down the street in a parade for Syesha. She's cute.

Sarasota Mayor Lou Ann Palmer starts out cute, too. "We've been turning inside out and upside down for Syesha!" she declares haltingly. Then, she does a handstand. Which I can't say I've seen a woman of her advanced age do before. "Oh, my God," Syesha says. My thoughts exactly.

Back on stage with Syesha, Seacrest asks whether she thinks Paula was too hard on her after her performances on Tuesday.

"Yep," Simon says, unprompted.

"Um, no. I don't know; everybody has their opinions, though," Syesha says. "I wouldn't say that."

Then, it's obit time for Syesha, too. Those must be strange for the contestants to watch. Especially since they're not quite dead yet.

MR. MISSOURI
Now, it's David Cook's turn. He and Seacrest talk about how it wasn't his idea to audition for "Idol" — he actually went to the auditions to support his brother, Andrew. But then ended up auditioning. And getting a golden ticket. And going to Hollywood. And ending up a finalist.

Andrew joins him on stage, so apparently they're still speaking. Andrew should expect some kick-ass presents every birthday and Christmas for quite some time, I hope.

David heads back to his hometown of Kansas City, Mo., where he's breathlessly anticipated by the news team at his local Fox station. Then, he's on the radio. Then, he's playing for a massive crowd in downtown Kansas City, all the while traveling by police motorcade.

As he signs an autograph, he gets his own version of Crying Sanjaya Girl, which must be a strange experience indeed.

And then — totally cute — he gives his elementary school music teacher flowers. And then, there's the requisite parade. And, yep, David cries, too. Three for three.

"This is a trip," he says. "I can't process it."

THREE NO MORE
As the show returns from commercials with all three of them standing on stage and clasping hands, you can almost sense their anxiety. It could be anybody's win, anybody's loss.

David Archuleta has a thriving fan base and angelic pipes. David Cook is the creative maestro whose arranging finesse wowed critics and earned supporters in droves. And Syesha Mercado is the scrappy songstress who fought her way from perennial last-place to the Top 3.

Seacrest tosses to the judges.

» Randy: You guys did an amazing job. You should be well proud of yourself. You came through of a 100,000 people we saw and the three still standing there. So hot, so amazing. Give yourself a big round of applause no matter what happens.

» Paula: Life's about moments. And if you're lucky enough, you create ones that will last forever. ... And if you're really, really lucky, the world will watch. And the world's gonna remember every single one of you.

» Simon: I like these three. And I think, if it's the final I'm hoping for, we're going to have a real hum-dinger next week.

And now it's time. The crowd screeches and natters, then grows deathly still. (Watch here.)

Li'l David is in. (Cut to Daddy Archuleta cheering.)

And his opponent? David Cook.

It's David versus David, ladies and gents. And that will indeed be a hum-dinger.

And it's a night that caps an incredible run for Syesha Mercado.

It was almost inevitable. The Davids have stood atop the heap throughout the competition, earning critical acclaim and prompting screams and cheers with each appearance. Syesha's a wonderful singer — and one who improved and matured as the show progressed, but she couldn't crack into their level of popularity or, to be honest, talent.

I'm confident she'll go on to a solid career, possibly on Broadway. You'll see her on a marquee or in a Playbill in the years to come. But David Cook and David Archuleta, it seems, were almost destined to go head to head in this competition. And, my friends, this will be a finale that's surely worth watching.

» NEXT WEEK: The final week of "American Idol" will be a flurry of activity here in Idol Chatter land. I'll have a preview on Tuesday, which, as usual, will also be in your Express print editions. Wednesday brings our final Idol Chatter Live chat at 11 a.m. and a recap of Tuesday night's performance show. Then our final recap of the season will follow the two-hour, star-studded, fathers-lock-up-your-daughters "Idol" finale. We'll be burning up your ISDNs, T-3s and coaxials right here at readexpress.com/idol.

Between then and now, let's talk. Did Syesha get shafted? And which David do you think will reign supreme? Leave your thoughts in the comments section below.

Photos courtesy Fox

Posted By Greg Barber at 7:30 AM on May 15, 2008 Tagged in Arts & Events , Idol Chatter , Television , Top Columns

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