How Does It Feel to Be Al-Qaeda's Number Two?

A lot has been made recently about Ayman al-Zawahiri, al-Qaeda's second in command, fielding questions online. After promising on December 16, 2007, to personally respond to journalists and Jihad enthusiasts via Web forums, the Egyptian doctor turned fundamentalist was inundated with at least 1,888 queries.

Of those, he reportedly answered around one fifth. And while Zawahiri "patiently" endeavored to explain away the murder of innocents and encourage the killing of Egyptian secret police, there was one topic that I would have liked to ask him about: How does it feel being number two?

Specifically I'd like to know if, as deputy leader of Al-Qaeda, you, Mr. al-Zawahiri, have any feelings of jealousy toward Osama bin Laden? True, playing Garfunkel in the world's most hated terrorist organization is nothing to scoff at, but Bin Laden's getting all the posters while you're stuck with all the grunt work.

Bin Laden has a $50 million bounty on his head, and yours is only $25 million. Is that a point of tension during meetings or around the cave water cooler? Be honest, Ayman, does Osama ever make you feel insecure about your role as deputy? Does he ever rub it in your face? Are you paranoid that Jihadists call you "Avis" or "Pepsi" behind your back? Did the article on Tuesday about Facebook surpassing MySpace give you a ray of hope followed by feelings of self-consciousness and embarrassment? Are you afraid that no matter how hard you try you'll never be as successful a Jihadist as he is?

In America we say "no one remembers who finishes second," and granted you hate America, but come on: a silver medal is a silver medal. Do you have any aspirations to take over the No. 1 spot? Or do you pretend you're like Tony Soprano using Junior as the lightening rod while you get to run the show behind the scenes? Does it hurt deep down to realize he'll always be Dr. Evil to your No. 2?

I know these may tough questions to answer, but if you're out there Mr. al-Zawahiri, please don't be afraid to let us know. And remember, it can get lonely at the top.