Free Experience: Lessons in Interning

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MUSIC IS BLARING, scantily clad students are pushing past me, and I'm leaning on the bar, talking to a couple of interns. You guessed it: I'm at Hawk 'n' Dove.

Just two months ago, I was a fresh-faced first-time intern. Now, a little world-weariness and a lot of EasyMac dinners later, I'm interested in learning a little more about the elusive — actually, pervasive would be more accurate — D.C. intern.

My many questions bring me straight to Hawk 'n' Dove. I've been told that interns flock to this dark, labyrinthine Capitol Hill bar in droves, so I make a night of it. The inside is, like the rest of D.C., unpleasantly humid. I guess by the end of the summer, we interns are used to that.

I introduce myself to two interns who freeze up as soon as they see the tape recorder in my hand.

Lesson 1: Interns don't like talking to reporters.

The first intern refuses to identify himself, but he does give me an atmospheric description of his job. "I work in a basement," he says. "There's no windows, it's all interns, it's not a real organization, and we all work for an 80-year-old guy." The kicker? "I'm paying $4,000 to be here this summer."

I'm wondering how this unfortunate — and unpaid — intern got wrangled into such a bad deal, and he's quick to offer some advice. Lesson 2: Interns who don't do their research face disastrous results.

"I chose to do it [the internship]," he continues, an unmistakable twinge of regret registering on his face. "You have to really do your research on the organization you're working with. Otherwise, you could end up doing anything, like what happened to me."

Lesson 3 is obvious: Interns don't eat. As I mentioned, I've mostly been living off EasyMac or, on the occasional luxurious evening — perhaps after a paycheck from my second job — a TV dinner. I'm surprised there haven't been more fires in my all-intern dorm, what with so many constantly running microwaves.

Perhaps less widely known is Lesson 4: Interns don't drink.

OK, that's not exactly true — after all, they do swarm bars and get drunk as often as they can just like other 20-somethings. But unpaid interns have to be careful with their money, even when they're supposed to be partying.

Our tragic, basement-dwelling intern confides that he isn't drinking tonight due to financial constraints, despite occupying a seat at the bar. He's starting to depress me, so I turn to his friend. Surely someone has to be getting everything he ever dreamed of out of his summer.

This intern smiles broadly, and says he's having fun. Finally, some hope. Apparently, though, fun isn't what internships are about.

"I was expecting a little bit more networking," he admits. Lesson 5: Interns come to D.C. to network. Period.

A couple of nights before my Hawk 'n' Dove excursion, I'm sitting in a Georgetown restaurant with some of my intern friends. They know that I'm writing a story about interns and are eager to express their opinions and air their grievances — on the condition of anonymity (see Lesson 1).

Networking not enough, networking more than expected, networking about as much as they'd thought they would — as my friends compare notes, there's no doubt as to the theme that's emerging.

Good internships, then, aren't measured in wages but in connections. It's no wonder that so many people come to Washington despite the heat, the Metro delays and the sky-high living expenses — if there's one place that's full of connections, it's the capital.

That being said, interns do go into their summers expecting more than just a few good references. Lesson 6: Interns want professional fulfillment from their jobs, and tend to be disappointed.

"I don't know how much I've learned," says Amanda, an intern for a child welfare lobbying group. "I thought I was gonna be able to, like, figure out what my life was gonna be like." The others around the table chime in enthusiastically. They, too, expected a preview of their careers — some guidance, even — and most have received little or none of either.

"I just feel more confused now than I did at the beginning of the summer," says one intern, who works for a non-profit organization. Unlike almost everyone else, though, this intern is actually reimbursed for her trouble. But do her $15 per hour make her any more likely to appreciate the experience?

"I feel like there really isn't a lot of room for creativity," she tells me. Lesson 7: Interns will leave D.C. disenchanted, paid or unpaid.

And yet despite the discontent — at least to a certain extent — of every intern with whom I've spoken, not once does anyone suggest that they wouldn't return if the opportunity were to arise again. The professional opportunities in this city are just too great to pass up, they say, despite all the drawbacks. Lesson 8: As long as there are internships, there will be interns, even if they have to take part in a system that is far from perfect.

"Basically," says the paid intern, "you're just a really fancy robot because they haven't figured out a way to automate the process yet."

"That's because your internship sucks," someone offers.

Lesson 9: Interns are competitive.

Written by Express contributor Elizabeth Simins
File photos by Michel du Cille/The Washington Post