Getting Ahead: The Buddy System

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"LOOKING FOR A BUSINESS-SAVVY mentor, particularly in the hospitality industry." It's not the typical Craigslist ad, but it was one of the first steps Meia Gaskin took to realize her life dream. The 31-year-old works in structured finance at Orrick, Herrington & Sutcliffe securing credit card debt but eventually wants to open her own hotel. She needed guidance.

"I knew there was so much to do before you can even start," the Arlington resident says, "but I wasn't sure what to do first. Do I finish my business plan? Meet with hotel executives? I needed some insight from someone more experienced."

While she never got an answer to her posting on Craigslist, she did find guidance through the local branch of Score, a nationwide organization of mentors. Recently, Don Dean, a semi-retired hotel and restaurant owner and manager, shared with Gaskin some of what he learned during his years spent in the hospitality industry.

"After 44 years of business management and ownership, I have something to offer," Dean explains. He's worked for Marriott and Days Inn, and the Sheraton chains in Knoxville, Atlanta and D.C. Now Dean volunteers with Score Inc., a nonprofit organization and a resource partner of the Small Business Association. Dean volunteers just one day per week, but his plate is full. With the number of people seeking mentors in the area, "I could serve probably four days a week," he says.

Fred Glave chairs the metro-D.C. chapter of Score. He says the details of starting a new business can be daunting, and having a mentor helps immensely. "Most people don't know where to start, whether it's getting a business license or finding a location. When they come to us, we help them think it through."

A mentor himself, Glave's goal is to help new entrepreneurs and small-business owners grow. He says most of his clients have the drive necessary to become a success: "You've got to have a passion and feel it in your gut, because that's what sustains you during the rough times." But he also admits that sometimes, his job is to discourage people. "If I hear things like, —I want to make $1 million by the time I'm 35,'" he says, "I have a red-flag speech. These people are spending their own money, and they might lose it." Glave says usually by asking them the right questions, a mentor can get someone to consider the implications of his or her plan, and "they'll come to the conclusion that maybe this isn't the right thing for them."

There's no certain field or occupation that seems to require more guidance than others. "I like to say I can go from handbags to salad dressing to an idea for the replacement of the pap smear in about three hours," Glave jokes. He says people from all age ranges turn to his organization for help, and it's not always someone looking to start a new business.

For instance, Joshua Bogart is happily ensconced in his chosen field. A principal with Catapult Consultants — a financial management and information technology company that works closely with the federal government — Bogart saw the wisdom of getting advice from someone more experienced. At 35 years old, he's keenly aware of the benefits of mentors. In fact, he decided to go with the principle of "the more, the merrier." His McLean-based company has an advisory board made up of mentors from Score. "Having more mentors adds different perspectives. We find that our mentors are very much on the same page, but they bring a variety of experiences to the table."

Bogart regularly puts together an agenda of topics he wants to discuss, and a pair of volunteers comes in to advise him and his business partner. "For example, it might be personnel items we want opinions on or new contract wins. The agenda focuses on different aspects of running the business depending on what is important at the time."

Not all mentor relationships are set up so formally. Eileen Caroscio met Linda Fossum when she decided to become a life coach, and then realized her new friend had a lot of knowledge to share. "I sought her out as a colleague, and it evolved into a mentorship," the 50-year-old Burke resident says. Caroscio leaned on Fossum for help with her Web site and her brochure. "She noticed things I didn't notice on my own." Fossum also advised the new coach to provide more variety: "She had the business sense of different packages I could offer to my clients, things like that that I hadn't thought about."

Rather than face-to-face meetings with a set agenda, Caroscio and Fossum enjoy a more informal relationship. "She gives me a second set of eyes on my materials, or I'll call her with a business situation and say, 'With your experience, what would you do about this?'"

Fossum's background in corporate America — working with such corporations as Target, Land O'Lakes and Carlson Wagonlit — prepared her to become a professional mentor. Clients each pay her $300 to $400 per month, which covers three phone calls and unlimited e-mail communications to garner her experience.

"I was a mentor to my staff instead of a manager," she says. "Managing them got them to work; mentoring allowed me to get the work out of them that they were capable of but didn't realize it." Now a full-time mentor with 17 clients across the nation, the 62-year-old Hagerstown resident says she gets as much out of the relationship as her protégés do. "I like to learn from the mentee. We're both learning constantly. And the energy is critical — I enjoy the spirit of the people I'm working with."

That goes both ways. Caroscio credits her mentor with getting her through some rough spots on her way to becoming a certified life coach and starting Passageways Coaching. "She elevated me past all of the stressful parts and doesn't allow me to get stuck in the business. She'd say, 'This is another step in the journey; don't let it take you away from the direction you're going.'"

Gaskin's first step in the journey — finding a mentor — did nothing to dissuade her. During her meeting with Don Dean, he gave her plenty of guidance and inspiration. "The first time I met with Don was the happiest day I had all year." The pair discussed her plans, and Dean urged her to intern at a few hotels to get a feel for the industry. Gaskin says they'll meet again in the future. In the end, she hopes to become a mentor herself.

"I have to pass my experience along. It just wouldn't be right if I didn't."

» The Right Match

The right mentor is like a great pair of shoes: a perfect fit that leads you down the right path. But like Linda Fossum of Ten Thousand Moments, a life and corporate coaching company, says, when it comes to choosing a mentor, "define your needs" and "don't look for one mentor to be everything to you."

In other words, decide whether you want someone to guide you through a marketing plan or product development, and find a person with the necessary strengths.

Fossum says it's also important to establish the type of relationship you want. "Do you need a formal mentor, with whom you'll meet regularly to discuss your progress on certain goals," or would you feel more comfortable with "someone you can just bounce ideas off of" when a situation calls for it?

Finally, a mentor with experience at more than one company can offer a broader perspective. "The business aspect is pretty general, but he could tell me what the hospitality industry is all about," Gaskin says of her mentor, Don Dean.

Written by Lynn Thorne
Photos by Lawrence Luk/Express