Love at First Feel: AC/DC Live at Verizon Center

IT HAD BEEN 20 YEARS since I last saw AC/DC: May 14, 1988, at Joe Louis Arena in Detroit. I was well into my new wave/punk/house music phase by then, but there are some musical things a rural-Michigan-raised kid never outgrows: Kiss, J. Geils and AC/DC. Those three acts broke in the Great Lakes State before the rest of America caught up, so it was my civil duty to go see the band on the "Blow Up Your Video Tour."

Some tidbits about that 1988 show: hair-metal forgettables White Lion opened, killed "Wait" and sucked horribly with everything else; lookalike nephew Stevie Young filled in for an alcohol-pickled Malcolm on rhythm guitar; and I seem to remember lead guitarist Angus rising out of the stage in a rocketship that looked suspiciously like a penis.

In other words, it was awesome.

So, when AC/DC announced Sat., Nov. 15, as the D.C. date for its "Black Ice" tour, I threw my hat in the Washington Post's assignment ring as early as I could — for if I wasn't going to cover it for the paper, I was going to buy tickets the second they were available.

Thankfully, Our Kid at the poppa paper, J. Freedom, hooked me up, and my review is in today's paper.

But my notebook was filled with fanboy scribblings that didn't make the cut, so here's a loose collection of deep thoughts on AC/DC — are there any other kind?

My boy Trashcan and I hit the Verizon Center after some pregame celebrations that included beer and some beer, along with beer, which meant our first stop was the men's room. No surprise that it smelled like a barn, but what did surprise us was the smell of marijuana emanating from one of the stalls. The weed stank must have caught the nose of the guy relieving himself next to me, too, because he broke Man Law and made a comment to me. I kept my eyes straight ahead and acted like I didn't hear him, for I am nothing if not lawful.

(An aside: Pot Dude's senses must have been wholly deadened because only a person with no sense of smell could have spent more than 30 seconds among the b-room's stench — and it was way more filthy than during Caps games.)

At 9 p.m., a cartoon intro started playing behind the stage, with animated Angus playing the devil in a steam engine's coal room. He kept loading up the stove until the train was rolling off the tracks, abetted by two scantily clad ladies, who caused Devil Angus to suggestively lift his tail between legs.

Despite most of the band being in their mid- to late 50s — and singer Brian Johnson is rocking 61 — it's such a relief nothing has changed in AC/DC's prepubescent world. Or in mine.

The 'toon gave way to an actual giant train, and soon the lads came running out on stage, looking exactly as they always have — a few more wrinkles, sure; a little less hair, natch. But the uniforms were straight off the rack: Angus' British schoolboy outfit; Malcolm's '70s-burnout-chic combo of black tank-top, peg-legged jeans and black tennis shoes; Brian's flat cap and muscle shirt; and bassist Cliff Williams and drummer Phil Rudd holding down the bottom end in black T-shirts.

The guys took up their familiar positions on stage — Malcolm and Cliff flanking Phil, except for when they marched in near lockstep up to the mic to add backup vocals, and Angus and Brian out front busting out their well-worn moves.

Here's the setlist, with comments:

» "Rock 'n' Roll Train"
The first single off "Black Ice." Sounds exactly as you'd think it would, since AC/DC just rewrites the same song album after album, which is also why they're the most fantastic minimalist artists since LaMonte Young and Kazimir Malevich.

» "Hell Ain't a Bad Place to Be"
After this album cut from 1977's "Let There Be Rock," Johnson responded to the audience's wild affirmations with the effacing, "You make us feel real proud up here!" Right back at you, Bri Bri! I actually felt a lump in my throat when you thrust your sexagenarian hips.

» "Back in Black"
Nothing to say. Too slack-jawed.

» "Big Jack"
Another "Black Ice" number. I haven't looked at the lyrics for this song, but I imagine it's about someone's penis. And if it's not, then AC/DC is slipping.

» "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap"
I have fond memories of rollerskating to this song. What an odd song to shoot the duck to.

Johnson introduced the tune by saying, "Boy, are we in the right place for this song!" It felt like the first honest thing said in Washington, D.C., in quite some time.

» "Thunderstruck"
The stage had a clear section with a camera underneath it, and Angus used this song to walk its length as he riffed, fulfilling the fantasies of many in the audience who had long dreamed of trying to look up the shorts of a 53-year-old rock 'n' roller.

» "Black Ice"
"This is ACDC — you can't sit down," a red-haired woman said to me on her way to a beer run. Hey, it's AC/DC who's in good shape for their age, lady, not me. My dogs were barking and it was time to take a breather.

» "The Jack"
Angus always breaks out his striptease during this blues song, though his prance walk now looks like the feline gait of an old lady.

» "Hells Bells"
Brian jumps up and swings from the giant bell's rope and swings. When I'm 61, I'll be happy to have the strength to ring the bell for my nurse.

I've long loved Malcom's concert moves, or lack thereof. His feet tap to the downbeats but his head bobs to his guitar riffs. If you try to follow both his movements at once, it makes him look like a spastic twitcher who's trapped in a forcefield.

» "Shoot to Thrill"
Angus did his Chuck Berry duck walk during this song. AC/DC's really a classic rock band — not 1970s, however, but 1950s. If the group added more twang and a little less overdrive, it could do rockabilly in a heartbeat. In fact, AC/DC could have played two hours of Chuck Berry covers on Saturday night and its rabid fans would have still shaken the Phone Booth all night long.

» "War Machine" *
Another "Black Ice" tune. Trashcan pointed out the Verizon Center's official sign language lady who was near us. She was dancing and singing and signing in the glow of a computer screen, which was likely scrolling lyrics. I wonder how she signed "The Jack"? The tune's about V.D.

» "Anything Goes" *
Speaking of "Black Ice," which this song is also from: In a sea of lily white people, what appeared to be the concert's lone black attendee was sitting to our right. He wore sunglasses throughout almost the whole show, and it was during this song he flung the first of several dollar bills into the air like he was Flo-Rida at a strip club. Dude made it rain at an AC/DC concert!

» "You Shook Me All Night Long"
Nothing to say. Too slack-jawed.

» "TNT"
The "Oi!" chant felt straight out of a Fascist Youth Rally, but then you don't need me to tell you that. We've all seen "The Wall," right? What else is rock 'n' roll but a Fascist Youth Rally? At least that's what my preacher, the Right Honorable Rev. Roger Waters, told me.

» "Whole Lotta Rosie"
The inflatable Rosie backdrop came out and replaced the train. She tapped her foot and rubbed her privates in time with the music. Oh, Rosie.

» "Let There Be Rock"
A montage of AC/DC covers and photos were projected onto the backdrop. It's nice the band remembers deceased singer Bon Scott during every show.

You might want to avert your eyes to this next statement: Angus' moobs bounced during his duck walk. He's not out of shape by any means; he just has some loose flesh. Don't we all.

This was another Angus spotlight, beginning with his solo-while-back-spinning out on the catwalk that intersected the the front part of the arena, to his completely solo showcase on the high platform at the back of the stage.

The band exited at 10:30 p.m., but we could see the cannons being prepared for the encore at least two songs prior.

» "Highway to Hell"
Angus rose out from below the stage bathed in red light and smoke, wearing the devil horns that had been successfully merchandised to what looked like half the arena.

Angus performed part of his solo between Brian's legs, because an AC/DC show that goes for more than a few minutes without a penis reference is no AC/DC concert at all. If you think you're at an AC/DC show but suddenly realize there has been no overt penis pointing, you're probably at a Jet concert.

» "For Those About to Rock"
Six cannons blasted away, and their kickbacks were as big as their booms. I remember them scaring the crap out of me in 1988, too. I also remember in 7th grade art class making a silkscreen T-shirt out of this album cover. That T was tite.

The show was over at 10:43 p.m., though we would have all been happy if AC/DC played another two hours.

Here are the songs Trashcan and I wish we would have heard:

"Who Made Who"
"Heatseeker"
"Moneytalks"
"Girls Got Rhythm"
"Shake Your Foundations"
"High Voltage"
"Jailbreak"
"Live Wire"
"Love at First Feel"
"Touch Too Much"
"Put the Finger on You"
"Let's Get It Up"
"Stiff Upper Lip"
"Sink the Pink"
"Shake Your Foundations"
"Flick of the Switch"
"Guns for Hire"

Plus, songs what could form AC/DC's very own rock 'n' roll suite:

"It's a Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock 'n' Roll)"
"That's the Way I Wanna Rock 'n' Roll"
"Rock 'n' Roll Ain't Noise Pollution"
"Rock 'n' Roll Damnation"

And finally, as we've well-established, because everything comes back to the nether regions with AC/DC, "Big Balls."

Photos by Kristin Callahan, courtesy ACDC.com