Baggage Check: When Mom Feels Like No. 2

GOT ISSUES? Dr. Andrea Bonior will help you sort them out.

My 3-year-old girl means the world to me. Being a mom is better than I could have expected, and I love her with all my heart. The problem is that she has always preferred her father to me. I know these things shouldn't mean anything, but I find myself getting jealous of my partner because of it. It is not that he is not a good father, but he gets to have her admiration in a way that I never get to. And yet I feel like in the day-in and day-out, I do all of the grunt work. — Sad in Va.

Yes, kids often take the parent who seems to be "there" more for granted. But when I hear "always" and "never" — blame it on the contrarian in me — I usually beg to differ. Could it be that her affections, in reality, fluctuate more than you realize? (Most 3-year-olds — and I happen to know one very well — are not exactly best friends with consistency.)

Either way, it's clear that stress seems to be taking its toll. And though it's a sweet sentiment that you love your daughter with "all your heart" and she "means the world" to you, sometimes such absolution can make the daily ups and downs of life with a preschooler feel unbearable. You also have to communicate with your partner to try to establish a better balance about housework and child responsibilities. And be more assertive about carving out "me" time, establishing stress relievers and coping strategies that can help you get some breathing room and individual satisfaction.

Finally, be honest with your partner about feeling slighted, not to accuse him of being a teacher's pet, but to give him a heads-up (and perhaps to convince him to throw a We Love Mommy party).

My stepdad is in danger of losing his job. He is starting to get very paranoid and even yells at me for the smallest things. He works in a high-profile environment and is driving my mom and me nuts! How can we solve this? — Help!

No matter what, and most certainly if you're younger, you have to have an honest talk with your mom about how this is affecting you.

Granted, she is under stress, too, but it's her job as a parent (along with figuring out her stance on crustless sandwiches) to make sure you don't bear an unfair burden. As too many families are finding out, unemployment — or the threat thereof — has a ripple effect and hurts people in many more ways than just their checkbook.

Your dad could use a medical exam to make sure his behavior doesn't have a physical basis, and with your mom's help, his tension — and how much harm it's doing — should be addressed. In the meantime, for you, coping techniques such as journaling, listening to music, reading and laughing with friends can help you get some psychological space.

Talk back to Dr. Andrea by leaving a comment below. To ask a question for Baggage Check in the Express print edition, e-mail baggage@readexpress.com or submit an anonymous question here.