Groom With A View: The Man's Side of the Story

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I HAVE NEVER FOUND a counterpart to Bride's magazine called Groom's. That's because grooms don't buy wedding magazines. Grooms offer input and agree totally with the outcome. But that input can go a long way: my wedding had Turkmeni shashlyk appetizers (think kebabs), Uzbek disco hits tearing up the dance floor, and macaroni and cheese as a side dish. The first two were not random: I served as a Peace Corps Volunteer in Turkmenistan. The latter was a childhood favorite, and a well-timed Saveur magazine article civilized the choice.

By the summer of 2007, we had set our wedding date for February 23rd, 2008. There was a small snag: I would be studying law in China for the fall semester. Not exactly available for planning pow-wows. Fortunately, my bride Susannah was and is a masterful organizer. She made me music and drinks czar. I pushed for a DJ because I wanted the full range of music options and didn't want to risk hearing "Oh, What a Night". From my dorm in Beijing, I searched for Philly's best. Price checks didn't narrow the field as much as website presentation and promptness of e-mail communication.

The caterer's package offered a "signature cocktail". Believe me: this is a most enjoyable preparatory task. Having traveled from China to Philadelphia for the Thanksgiving holidays, Susannah and I had ideas for such a cocktail but these needed to be refined. After a trip to the liquor store and a few hours of tasting, our numbed tongues had settled on just the right recipe for an apricot sour. I also wanted a bride cocktail and a groom cocktail, and, we selected drinks from the caterer's rail (extra-dry gin martini for the groom, kir royale for the bride).

For our guest book, we decided to create a photobook on Snapfish using pictures from all eras of our lives. Guests could stare at my pudgy middle school self or cute photos of Susannah at college graduation, then write or sign their names near the photos they were in or from when they first knew us. This was my task. According to my bride, it was a "defining moment" when I nearly defenestrated my laptop after finishing the photobook, only to errantly hit a button that undid all of my work.

With T-minus a week before the wedding, we migrated up from Washington, D.C. to Philadelphia and settled in for the final days. Printing, printing, printing. Programs. Table cards. Directions. Was that a smudge? Print them again.

Then, suddenly, it was the night before. Do not overdo it the night before. Remember: the next night you will be getting married and going to a very expensive party. I gave into this temptation. The rehearsal dinner was innocent. So was the reception for out-of-town guests. But before I knew it the clock had struck two and my brother and best man was ordering rounds of single-malts.

I freshened up by the next evening with some light napping and a long shower. And, of course, everything worked out fine. A final tip: What you have heard is true; the bride and groom don't really have time to eat. So be sure you spend your first night in a hotel that offers good round-the-clock room service. Our guests might have feasted on Turkmeni cuisine, but we had a pepperoni pizza at three in the morning.

Written by Express contributor Kenyon S. Weaver
Illustration Christoph Hitz for Express