Monumental Eyesores: The D.C. Area's Most Disgusting Sights

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THE WASHINGTON POST'S late Sunday Source section once published some reader nominations for the D.C. areas most objectionable eyesores. While I am no particular fan of the Robert C. Weaver Federal Building, I nonetheless believe there are uglier things in Washington than the local architecture.

Even though the Kennedy Center is a bit boxy and boring, and the Washington Monument has little to offer besides an overstated phallic resemblance, you can always do a lot worse than well-lit white marble.

In tribute to Robert C. Weaver, his embattled Federal Building, and the late Sunday Source, here is my own highly subjective list of things in Washington I would prefer not to look at.

» The Bathroom at the Raven
There may be divier bars in D.C. than Mount Pleasant's Raven Grill, and there are undoubtedly smellier restrooms. Since I''m making these judgments based solely on visual criteria, however, the Ravens truly superlative graffiti accumulation won out over bar bathrooms that may offer a more aesthetically balanced disgusting experience. Don't get me wrong, I have no objection to basking in the collected wit and wisdom of my bar-going peers, but after one Raven wall perusal revealed some highly personal information about an acquaintance, I decided that maybe I wasn't yet ready for Raven-level wisdom.

» Beards on 22-Year-Olds
Look, if the lower half of your face is legitimately more of an eyesore than your facial hair, forget I said anything. If, however, you're sporting a beard because you think it is indie, outdoorsy, or because you're just thrilled that you're finally capable of growing one, just work the fresh-faced thing while you still can. Play your cards right and you'll look legitimately grizzled soon enough. Alternatively, move to Brooklyn now.

» Dying Rat in My Backyard
By rat standards, this one is actually kind of cute. Its pathetic shivering and placid tolerance of flash camera pictures, however, suggest I may soon be stuck with a rat corpse in my backyard, and that isnt going to be cute at all. UPDATE: The rat, like the Sunday Source before it, has departed the world, and as I suspected, it is not looking so hot. On the positive side, I may have a promising career as a rat pathologist.

» Chambered Nautilus
If the naked mole rats didn't have such a powerful lobby I would probably be calling them out as the National Zoo's ugliest denizens. However, since these invertebrates are unpopular as well as unsightly, I'm going to mercilessly mock them for a second time. The armadillos aren't much to look at either.

» Oleksiy Pecherov
I wasn't kidding when I said it would be a depressing season for the Wizards. Pretty much every time the team has taken the court at Verizon Center it's been one big eyesore. And I don't mean to pile on the plenty endearing Oleksiy Pecherov, but his presence certainly isn't helping. In a perfect world the gangly Russian would be seen courtside in a sharp suit, but because of a rash of injuries the slow-footed 7-footer actually suits up every game these days. And when he's on the court, well, it's not pretty. Literally, figuratively, any way you cut it. After all, this is who usually doesn't register in the box scores except in the "personal foul" column and whose closest celebrity doppleganger is Stewie from "Family Guy."

Written by Express contributor Meg Zamula