Baggage Check: She Thinks She's Getting a Ring

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My girlfriend and I are sort of in the "pre-proposal" stage. She has picked out a ring and knows my timeline for giving it to her. It feels like a done deal. But, honestly, I think I am making a mistake in marrying her. At first, I thought it was classic "cold feet," but now I am more certain there are reasons I shouldn't stay with her. I feel like I need to call it off, but I don't even know what "it" is. How can I run from this with the least damage possible?
— Joe Schmoe

You know what you must do, and I hope you realize that a pre-proposal dumping is better than a post-proposal dumping, which is still better than a post-marital dumping. (Which is, to run with the theme, much better than a marriage of misery.)

You won't be able to "run" from this — that's at total cross-purposes with creating the "least damage possible." Instead, you need honesty, empathy and consistency as your guideposts. Once you are certain that this is the choice you must make, don't waffle or leave room for misinterpretation.

You also need to define the "it" and acknowledge the depth of this loss for both of you. Who cares that she doesn't yet have a ring? Minimizing your relationship because you hadn't booked the DJ will invalidate her grief and get in the way of her eventually moving on.

An additional honorable thing would be, after a bit of time goes by, to write a note to her family wishing them well, if you were at all connected to them. Not only does this recognize that they were a part of your life, but it can help them get clear, indisputable closure and help them encourage her to do so, too. Three words for this whole endeavor: kind but firm.

I recently found out a co-worker has been cutting corners on some assigned projects and getting an administrative assistant to take the blame (unwillingly). And there is the possibility that she is stealing money from the company. I honestly think she is psycho. She is out only for herself and doesn't seem to care that she is bringing others down with her. How do you reason with someone like that?
— Extremely Annoyed, VA.

You don't. You go straight for the tranquilizer gun.

Seriously, let's cut out the "psycho" talk — that's not a word that should be used lightly (or at all, really). It sounds like you have a co-worker who is lazy, manipulative and possibly criminal, but trying to diagnose or demonize her won't help the issue.

It's also not your job to reason with her. If you have cause to suspect she's stealing money, you must bring it to your supervisor's attention. Be honest and clear, but discreet, or it'll appear you're tattling because of a personal vendetta.

Art by Eric Reece for Express