Bauer by Hour: Last Stop, Washington Center?

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Matt Swenson knows the Metro, and this isn't the Metro.

The following takes place between 5 a.m. and 6 a.m.

REALITY IS NOT the strong suit of "24." Never has been; never will be.

But when Tony Almeida tells the poor patsy he's out to frame for a terrorist attack to take the Metro westbound to Washington Center within the first five minutes of Monday's episode, our corrective lenses were out.

It's been well-documented that the show's writers live in L.A. and don't know D.C. Boy, did it show.

How did "24" err? Let us count the ways.

Let's start at the beginning. As we all know, there is no Washington Center. Let's say, for sake of argument, that the faux station name was used in place of Metro Center.

It's still off because they make it clear Washington Center is the last stop on the Red Line. Metro Center isn't the end of the line on any line.

The closest to this in the general vicinity is Mount Vernon Square — maybe since the real Mount Vernon was George Washington's center late in life, then it works. Is that a stretch or what?

Another big goof is the whole noting of the stations themselves. First, there is a booth to buy fare passes — like they have in New York but not here. Second, the stations are way too bright. The lighting looks like the office you are probably sitting in while reading this blog.

Of course, the real Metro fits the definition of dank. Then there are the floor tiles, which are a sleek gray, not the puke beige we know and hate.

When not focusing on the floor, you may have noticed the silver-colored trains which look, again, not unlike the New York subway.

Fittingly, the fare card the patsy picked up says "DC Metro Pass" and is yellow, just like the subway.

Other minor offenses include a male voice saying what station is next and a station named Bell Street.

One funny because it's true moment came when the patsy finds the weapon and Jack orders him to take the escalator outside. The guy has to run up the escalator because it's broken — just like the Metro's really are.

Now to the minutes ...

» EYES ON KIM: Her flight back to L.A. is delayed and Kim Bauer thinks someone is watching her. She's right, of course, but the guy turns out to be an FBI agent keeping an eye on her per Jack's orders. Kim then finds a couple at the gate to sit next to, and tells them of her stalker. As if you didn't see this coming, the husband ends up working for Tony's evil group and kills the FBI agent. While not cougar lions, it's nice to see Kim back in harm's way.

» BOMBSHELL: Okay, it really isn't a shocker but we did get an answer to last week's question of who killed Jon Voight? Olivia Taylor, the conniving daughter of the president, definitely ordered the hit but tried to back out. Turns out it was too late so she is the ultimate mastermind who the Justice Department is looking for in their investigation.

» AWESOME AARON: Super-secret-service agent Aaron Pierce, who we misguidedly suspected in Voight's death, is about to rat out Olivia. He calls former Chief of Staff Shawshank, forced out by the mean and nasty first daughter. Turns out there is a recorder constantly on in the chief of staff's office and only he can access the recordings, which will implicate Olivia in the murder.

» FRICTION: It's wasn't the blowout promised, but there was some good exchanges between Chloe and bizarro Chloe, aka Janeane Garofalo, who keeps wanting thank yous from Chloe and is so competing with her. Nice they can have catty conversations while a terrorist threat faces D.C.

» FRIENDLY FIRE: Jack and Tony used to be enemies, then they were friends — and that's years before Season 7. Tony's betrayal finally gets Jack made enough to punch his lights out before Tony is handed over to the Feds. The final twist is that Tony's girlfriend is behind Kim's airport situation and is blackmailing Jack to rescue Tony — which will be the focus of next week's two-hour finale.

» MIA: President Taylor and her husband sit this week out.

» WHY THIS SHOW IS "24" AND YOUR SHOW ISN'T MOMENT: Tony convinced the patsy by threaten his brother. In fact, Tony says if anything goes wrong, the brother "will die ... badly." It's so bad it's good.

Photo courtesy of Fox