Baggage Check: Approaching Therapy With Kid Gloves

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Is there such a thing as Barney the dinosaur therapy for adults (i.e. a non-threatening form of therapy)? My boyfriend keeps a lot of his past under wraps. I know that there is a lot that is bothering him, but he won't talk to me about it, and he won't talk to anyone else, either.
— He needs help

It makes sense that some of the people who could most benefit from therapy are also the ones who have the hardest time seeking it out. In fact, the idea of opening up to someone — let alone a stranger, who possibly has a notepad — can be downright horrifying.

But the good news is, helping create a forum that feels safe and noninvasive is something that therapists are trained to do. Many times, making the appointment, showing up and sitting down for the first 10 minutes are the biggest obstacles of all.

That's not to say that it will always be easy, but if you get a good, competent therapist, your boyfriend should not run out screaming. (Unless, of course, he or she actually does use Barney the dinosaur.)

I met this incredible person. We live in different states, started out as friends and decided to date. He always told me how much he misses me and loves me, and that I was too good to be true. I wanted to enter the next level in our relationship, but he never really stepped up, and we fought. Recently, we decided to get back together and start fresh. But I have not heard from him. I called many times, e-mailed him and Facebooked him. It is not like him — he always returned my calls within two to three days. What did I do wrong? Do you think he met someone? Did he change his mind? Should I leave him, though I know I won't find anyone like him minus his recent annoying behavior? — Please Help!

Like my teenage telemarketing gig, this quickly went from bad to worse.

The most important signs you have to go on are in the here and now, and those are that he's not responding to your pleas after fighting about the level of commitment. I can't know what his specific reasons are for not responding or what his reservations are about moving forward. But regardless, it seems that he's not willing to do so. At the very least, he's not putting forth the effort that would be needed to keep a relationship going.

And you're doing yourself no favors by saying that you won't find anyone like him minus his annoying behavior. He is who he is, and you can't pick and choose pieces of him to airbrush out — he's showing insensitivity to your feelings by leaving you hanging. Don't torture yourself by waiting for someone who doesn't deserve you. You didn't do anything wrong but pick someone who isn't, in the end, compatible.

Talk back to Dr. Andrea by leaving a comment below. To ask a question for Baggage Check in the Express print edition, e-mail baggage@readexpress.com or submit an anonymous question here.

Art by Ben Classen III for Express