Say What?: Mystery Science Theater 3000's 10 Most Obscure References

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WITH A HANDFUL, of smart, smart-alecky writers crafting each episode, "Mystery Science Theater 3000" turned crappy movies into comic gold, peppering Joel Robinson, Mike Nelson and the 'bots' real-time riffs with a range of pop-cultural references. A typical episode might name-check playwright Harold Pinter, forgotten '70s rockers Sugarloaf, former Yankee Joe Pepitone and any number of Twin Cities landmarks.

The breadth of their knowledge remains impressive even so many years later. No viewer would get every joke, but the show trusted its audience to understand some of them and either not mind the rest or be inspired to do some research. Today, there are several efforts underway — at mst3kinfo.com and annotatedmst.com — to track and explain every single riff and every reference.

The latest DVD set includes four cinematic disasters: the plotless and pointless "Robot Vs. the Aztec Mummy," the women's wrestling exploitation flick "Racket Girls," the dark, depressing teen drifter saga "Girl in Lovers Lane," and the steroidal rocker revenge movie "Zombie Nightmare." We found the 10 most obscure references and researched them for your benefit — now you can impress your friends by laughing at jokes about Larry Mondello and "Dead Skunk."

Push the button, Frank:

1."Richie Brockelman, Private Eye" ("The Girl in Lovers Lane")

During a brief close-up of actor Lowell Brown looking especially squirrelly, Servo says, "Richie Brockelman, the lost episodes!"

This could be a reference either to a minor character played by Dennis Dugan on "The Rockford Files" or to the short-lived 1978 television series "Richie Brockelman, Private Eye," created by Steven Bochco ("NYPD Blue") and starring a young Rene Auberjonois ("Benson"). Either way, it's pretty obscure: Dugan only appeared in three episodes of "Files" and only one episode "Brockelman" aired.

2. The Jets ("The Robot Vs. the Aztec Mummy")

After a shout of a group of laughably overdressed Aztec priests, Joel quips, "Hey look, it's the Jets."

This might be an allusion to the football team or the gang from "West Side Story," but most likely it's a joke about a teen pop group hailing from MST's hometown of Minneapolis. In the mid 1980s, they had a few minor hits, including "Crush on You" and "You Got It All," and were known, as were most pop groups of the era, for their laughable, instantly dated fashions.

3. Danny O'Day ("The Girl in Lovers Lane")

A running gag in the film is how blandly stiff the leads are, which prompts a snarky comparison to "a Danny O'Day dummy."

Danny O'Day was truly a dummy. He was the sidekick to ventriloquist Jimmy Nelson, who was popular during the 1960s. Few people remember him or his dummy these days, but O'Day was less wooden than the actors in "The Girls in Lovers Lane."

4. Milton the Monster ("The Robot Vs. the Aztec Mummy")

The automaton referenced in the title — boasting a bucket head and no knees — wakes up and walks toward the mad scientist who controls it. Jokes Joel, "I'm Milton, your brand-new son."

"Milton the Monster" was a goofy cartoon Frankenstein from the '60s, who was built like a tombstone with a tiny mushroom cloud where his hair should be. The line "I'm Milton, your brand-new son" comes from the theme song: Those are his first words to his mad-scientist dad, Dr. Weirdo.

5. Miss Manners, "Personal Best" ("Racket Girls")

An elderly woman struts around in a revealing gym outfit, prompting Mike's strange observation, "Miss Manners in 'Personal Best.'"

This is a double-edged joke: Miss Manners was the pen name of Judith Martin, a film critic and etiquette columnist born in 1938. "Personal Best" (which is likely not a reference to the excellent album by riot grrrl outfit Team Dresch) is like "Fame" for high school athletes, starring Mariel Hemingway and Scott Glenn. Neither reference is especially obscure, but the idea of the elegant Manners starring in a sports melodrama certainly is.

6. David Steinberg ("Zombie Nightmare")

A Haitian woman hams it up during an interminably long and poorly lit voodoo ritual scene, uttering what sounds like nonsense she's making up on the spot. "In the words of David Steinberg," remarks Tom, "'Booga booga.'"

Steinberg was a Canadian comic in the 1960s and '70s known for peppering his routines with slang and popularizing the phrase "booga booga" on his 1974 album by that title. Today, he is (slightly) more popular for directing episodes of "Curb Your Enthusiasm," "Weeds," and "Designing Women."

7. Anoka-Rose Technical College ("Zombie Nightmare")

In "Zombie Nightmare," the camera jumps abruptly to a shaky zombie's-eye-view of a generic school building: "Meanwhile, at Anoka-Rose Technical College..."

This one is only obscure to those billions of people who don't live in the Twin Cities. Anoka-Rose (now Community College) has campuses in nearby Coon Rapids and Cambridge, Minnesota.

8. Scott Thorson ("Zombie Nightmare")

An oily, shirtless guy picks up the phone, and Mike is ready with a putdown: "This guy's got a real Scott Thorson quality."

The Kato Kaelin of the '70s, Thorson achieved a tabloid brand of fame as Liberace's much younger, very drug-addled lover. After a break-up, he sued the pianist for, among other things, palimony and later testified against Vegas mobster Eddie Nash for his involvement in the Wonderland Gang murders. Bonus obscurity points for a Thorson jab in "The Robot Vs. the Aztec Mummy."

9. Stiv Bators ("Zombie Nightmare")

A large, mohawked guy goes nutzoid in a police station, prompting the joke, "Whoa, Stiv Bators is pissed."

Bators was the singer for the seminal Cleveland punk band the Dead Boys, who were best known for their violent stage performances. "Sonic Reducer" remains one of punk's greatest anthems. He died in 1990 after being hit by a car in Paris.

10. Tin Machine ("Racket Girls")

Four dapper thugs walking side-by-side down an alleyway prompts a short cry of "Tin Machine!"

David Bowie's late-'80s side project may not be as obscure as "The Turning Point" or "Brian Benben," but I think everyone involved wishes it were. Formed with Reeves Gabrels and Hunt and Tony Sales, the band was heavily touted by EMI, but both of its albums — "Tin Machine I" and "II" — were so critically and publically reviled that they became a walking punchline.

Written by Express contributor Stephen M. Deusner
Photo courtesy Best Brains Inc.