Worst. Retrospective. Ever: Comic Book Guy's Top 7 'Simpsons' Appearances

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HAVING LONG SINCE run out of Simpson family members to feature on the covers of collectible DVD packaging, the 12th season DVD release of The Simpsons instead portrays occasional supporting character Comic Book Guy.

Why did Comic Book Guy warrant this honor above some other Springfield denizen? Hans Moleman, Dr. Nick, and Cletus the slack-jawed yokel have provided plenty of laughs as well, and they're actually known by their names.

The answer: None of them are nearly as quotable. Here's a look back at Comic Book Guy's most unforgettable "Simpsons" appearances — and if it turns out to be the worst retrospective ever, well, that's only fitting.

The Debut
Comic Book Guy (voiced by Hank Azaria) made his debut in the season two episode "Three Men and a Comic Book" in which Bart, Milhouse and Martin pool their funds to purchase Radioactive Man #1. It was a brief appearance, but it included what later became CBG trademarks: withering sarcasm and abject laziness.
» Memorable Quote: "You made me get off my stool for that?"

The Appetite
Comic Book Guy's great passion, besides the publications that gave him both his career and his nickname, is food. He usually has a snack or meal behind the counter, and he is far from a gourmand, feasting on the likes of massive quantities of Marshmallow Peeps. Season seven's "Bart Sells His Soul" episode finds CBG consuming something even more disgusting, even as he protects a "very rare Mary Worth in which she has advised a friend to commit suicide."
» Memorable quote: "Since my breakfast burrito is congealing rapidly, I will be blunt."

The Reflections on Mortality
Comic Book Guy has confronted death three times on "The Simpsons," including his season 12 heart attack. In season nine's "Treehouse of Horror" episode, CBG is taking a pleasant stroll with a hot dog and an Aquaman comic when a nuclear missile suddenly appears, aimed right for his ponytail. This causes some momentary regret about how he's lived his life. However, when faced with imminent death again in "The Simpsons Movie" he has a different take, musing that it was a "life well spent."
» Memorable quote: "But Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills. You're from two different worlds!" [The missile approaches] "Oohh, I've wasted my life..."

The Power Trip
Season 10's "They Saved Lisa's Brain" unexpectedly reveals that Comic Book Guy has a social life of sorts. He joins his fellow Mensa members in welcoming Lisa into their exciting world of palindromes and Renaissance reenactment. Later, the group begins governing Springfield when Mayor Quimby abruptly leaves town. Their policy-making proves to be unpopular.
» Memorable quote: "Inspired by the most logical race in the galaxy, the Vulcans, breeding will be permitted once every seven years. For many of you, this will be much less breeding. For me, much, much more."

The Full Episode
One reason Comic Book Guy is on the season 12 packaging was the classic, if misleadingly titled, "Worst Episode Ever." CBG is for once the focus of the show, and things get pretty eventful once he decides to vacate his stool. CBG suffers a heart attack, and Dr, Hibbert identifies his job as the source of his stress. Bart and Milhouse run The Android's Dungeon, while Comic Book Guy attempts to relax. Socializing at Moe's goes poorly, but he finds a kindred spirit in Principal Skinner's shrewish mother, Agnes. Their romance concludes when Comic Book Guy is arrested for ownership of bootleg videos.
» Memorable quote: "Is there a word in Klingon for loneliness?" [Looks it up]] "Ah, yes: Gar-dacchk!"

The Reveal
Comic Book Guy's name was finally divulged in the season 16 post-Superbowl episode.
» Memorable quote: "My name is Jeff Albertson, but everyone calls me Comic Book Guy."

The Fall from Grace
Season 19's "Husbands and Knives" finds the Android's Dungeon in danger. Fed up with Comic Book Guy's caustic quips, Springfield's kids decamp to competitor Coolsville, run by a Japanese-hard-candy-distributing hipster named Milo (voiced by guest star Jack Black). Comic Book Guy attempts to sabotage Coolsville, but is fought off by visiting cartoonists Art Spiegelman, Dan Clowes and Alan Moore, all of whom prove to be surprisingly buff. Comic Book Guy cannot compete with their physiques, so he admits defeat and closes his store.
» Memorable quote: "Your tears have smudged Wolverine's iconic sideburns."

Written by Express contributor Meg Zamula
Photo courtesy 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment