People: Joel Madden and Nicole Richie Are Not Married

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JUDGMENT EQUATIONS
TWO KIDS + NO RING = ???
Joel Madden and Nicole Richie, who have two kids together, are still not married. Star magazine reported that the couple tied the knot secretly on Oct. 14 as part of a mass Unification Church wedding. "I keep getting e-mails from old friends and family asking about a wedding. No, we didn't get married," Madden blogged.

STUDIES
RAPPER HAS KEEN INTEREST IN THE FORENSIC SCIENCES
Lil Wayne is appearing in a Manhattan courtroom for a hearing on a DNA profiling technique used in the rapper's 2007 gun-possession case that started Wednesday. It concerns a process used for identifying people from tiny amounts of DNA — including some that prosecutors say ties Lil Wayne to a gun found on his tour bus.

DOORSTOPS
AUTHOR WRITES BOOK TO HEAVY TO LIFT SAFELY
Scribner announced Wednesday that the digital edition of Stephen King's "Under the Dome," a 1,000-plus-page novel, would not be released until Dec. 24, virtually the end of the holiday season and a month after the hardcover.

CLOSURE
'MONEY IS LIKE A TIME MACHINE THAT ERASES YOUR MISTAKES, Y'ALL'
Britney Spears and a photographer whose foot she ran over have settled a lawsuit. Ricardo Mendoza sued the singer in May, accusing her of assault, battery and negligently driving her car when she ran over his foot in Beverly Hills in October 2007. Court records filed in Los Angeles show a settlement notice was filed on Monday. The records do not disclose the terms. TMZ, which employed Mendoza at the time, auctioned his tire-stained sock and donated the proceeds to charity. The incident happened hours after Spears lost custody of her two sons.

BE SPECIFIC
VAGUE ALLUSIONS TO 'ISSUES' MAKE US MISS JON AND KATE
Rosie O'Donnell and wife Kelli Carpenter are "working on our issues," O'Donnell told USA Today. She did not confirm or deny rumors that she has moved out of the Nyack, N.Y., house where they live with their four children. "We're a family. We will remain a family forever," she said. "Kelli and I love each other very much."
» Pictured at right: Whatever, Rosie: No one will read the interview; it was with a newspaper.

QUITTERS
CHAPPELLE PULLS A CHAPPELLE
Dave Chappelle was onstage at Los Angeles' Laugh Factory on Sunday, seemingly on his way to setting the club's endurance record for continuous stand-up comedy. But five hours into his routine, he walked away to go to the bathroom and was disqualified. The result: Dane Cook still holds the record.

With contributions from The Associated Press
Photos by Kevin Winter/Getty Images for The Noble Awards; Haraz N. Ghanbari/AP