Manscaping: One Intrepid Guy Tests Out the Latest Grooming Tools and Spa Treatments

| Print Post This | Like (3) | Comments (2)

WHEN IT COMES to good grooming, guys usually catch a break. Forget to shave? A five o-clock shadow passes for scruffily sexy. (Not so much on a woman's legs.) Six months between haircuts? Shaggy hair equals surfer cool. Calloused hands? That';s a sign of a hard-working dude. But in an era of metrosexuals and a manly yet manicured president, those excuses start to fall flat. And, truthfully, there's no good way to justify those long yellow toenails hanging out of your flip-flops, Howard Hughes Jr.

A cabinet full of facial products isn't a stretch for a guy with a longtime subscription to Details mag. But can your average, Capitals-loving dad embrace the pore-cleansing mud mask? This reporter was slathered, scrubbed and softened by a bunch of treatments to see whether he could still feel like a man — even when sporting a good mani/pedi.

SCOURING THE DIGITS
» What: The Manly-cure ($25), Basic Pedicure ($55) and Callus Conqueror ($15)
» Where: Bliss Spa (W Hotel, 515 15th St. NW, 877-862-5477; Blissworld.com)
» What to expect: While my face still looks (somewhat) youthful, my hands are starting to give away their (cough) 40-year-old age, especially the dull, craggy nails. My feet? They're usually hidden by sneakers, and I clip my toenails only when my wife starts to call me Wolverine. At Bliss' nail station (you sit on a couchy throne for feet and at a clinical table for hands), beautician Renia Williams carefully trimmed, shaped and buffed each nail — but not so much that they looked overly done or feminine — and sloughed off my beast-like foot calluses with a diamond-encrusted foot file. (The air swirled ew — with a blizzard of dead skin.) The extra Callus Conqueror — a treatment meant to eliminate my hardened soles via a battalion of thick creams and a long soaking — left my dogs feeling as soft as my toddlers'.
» Best part: The manicure lasted for a long time; I didn't dull the buffed nails or tear the carefully rounded cuts until I yanked leaves out of the gutter, sans gloves, two weeks later.
» Worst part: Super-shiny buffed fingernails were an odd sight on my sausage-like digits. Luckily, my bowling league was on hiatus — I'm pretty sure the guys would've heckled me straight back to the spa.

SHAVING FACE
» What: The Royal Shave ($55)
» Where: The Art of Shaving (1050 Connecticut Ave. NW, 202-223-1433; Theartofshaving.com)
» What to expect: I de-stubble only when absolutely necessary, so this thorough — and thoroughly spa-like — experience amounted to a royal treatment. Barber Ian Andrews plopped me in an ornate reclining chair, applied oil to soften my growth and followed with a hot-towel wrap to open my pores. He lathered me up, then carefully scraped my bark-like beard with a straight razor before applying a soothing, mud-like mask, followed by hydrating rose water and a lavender aftershave balm. By the end, my normally Colin Farrell-esque cheeks felt baby soft.
» Best part: The all-natural products, which didn't irritate my sensitive skin.
» Worst part: With no fancy occasions in my future, I can't justify the $55 price tag again.

PORE ME
» What: Cleansing Face Treatment ($80)
» Where: Grooming Lounge (1745 L St. NW, 202-466-8900; Groominglounge.com)
» What to expect: In a darkened room, under the watchful gaze of photos of the Rat Pack and Sean Connery as James Bond, I sprawled out on a massage table as aesthetician Claudia Duran exfoliated my greasy mug with cleansers, creams and steam. As the stuff sank in, she also delivered a soothing shoulder rub.
» Best part: Duran dug deep into my forehead, nose and cheeks to produce more oil and cheese than OPEC and France combined. Since I have sinkholes for pores, I felt bad for her — and then envied that she basically gets to pop zits for a living. Result: Smooth skin without the bumps or blackheads.
» Worst part: My extra-moisturized face broke out like a 13-year-old's (a common side effect, especially for facial virgins). It took a week for the pimples to calm down, but by then the oil had filled my pores again, basically rendering all that hard work moot.

CUTTING BACKS
» What: Remington's Body & Back Groomer ($40, Remington-store.com)
» What to expect: Kinder than the waxing Steve Carell's chest-hair suffered in "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" this new, easy-to-use shaver boasts different options to cut down overly bushy chest, back and "other" hair, minus the pain. It can also be used to give your head hair and eyebrows a quick trim.
» Best part: The groomer can go in the shower, meaning all your ape shavings will pool in the strainer, not on the bathroom floor.
» Worst part: You'll need a wingman with a stomach of steel to tackle any back hair grooming.

BOTTLE SERVICE
» What: Molton Brown Re-Charge Black Pepper Bodyscrub Bar ($22, Moltonbrown.com); Anthony's face products ($20-$25, Anthony.com); Alchimie Forever's Antioxidant Skin Repair Gel ($55) and Superpulse Tightening Eye Contour Gel ($45, Alchimie-forever.com)
» What to expect: Men's products have come a long way since a slap of Old Spice counted as "classy." I've secretly dabbled in my wife's exfoliating cleansers but never knew how under-groomed I really was, according to these products. As someone whose idea of a face wash was a quick rub of Irish Spring, fitting in a product routine was a time-consuming adjustment.
» Best part: My drugstore soap was stripping my skin, so switching to the combo of Anthony's face products left my skin better moisturized, healthy and (Dare I say it?) glowing. And I found I really liked regularly exfoliating — it made my itchy, sandpapery dermis feel soft.
» Worst part: For as many products as I liked, there were just as many I didn't. (The ones above were my faves.) It's best to test with product samples first.

Photos by Marge Ely/Express