Collabo Central: Timbaland, 'Shock Value 2'

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TIMBALAND MAY HAVE the biggest Rolodex in the entire music industry. But those kinds of connections can't save the producer's latest solo effort, "Shock Value 2."

For years, Timbaland's production work has dominated the charts, whether on firmly mainstream tracks like Ludacris' "Roll Out" or more experimental stuff, such as Missy Elliott's debut album, "Supa Dupa Fly." And Timbaland basically stuck it out for years as Missy's partner-in-crime — you can catch him in the videos for "Hot Boyz," "Get Ur Freak On" and "Work It," looking unfazed in the corner and basking in all in the sexually charged, brightly colored insanity.

But then there came 2002's "Cry Me a River," Justin Timberlake's breakthrough smash (take that, Britney). The result was a solid solo career for *NSYNC's former ringleader and a partnership between the singer and producer that would pop up again on Madonna's "Four Minutes," Timberlake's "SexyBack" and Timbaland's "Give It to Me." In fact, when Timbaland did the whole solo thing in 2007 with "Timbaland Presents Shock Value," Timberlake was on three of the album's 18 tracks, a tie with R&B crooner Keri Hilson for the most appearances.

Yet Timberlake only shows up briefly on "Shock Value II," and despite the album's lengthy list of other collaborators (such as Hilson, Drake, Katy Perry, Chad Kroeger of Nickelback, Daughtry, OneRepublic, Jet and basically any person or group you can think of that may somehow be linked to Timbaland through one way or another), not one track has the immediately catchy, frustratingly unforgettable quality of previous singles like "The Way I Are" and the "Apologize" remix. Instead, it seems like Timbaland worked so hard on fine-tuning "Shock Value II" — the release date has been pushed back for months — that he forgot to inject any sort of fun into it.

Instead, the album's 17 tracks are wholly formulaic, with lots of Middle Eastern-sounding rhythms and beats, numerous grunts (Timbaland is a master at sneaking unnecessary "oohs" and "heys" into songs) and oddly awkward lyrics, some of which even compare girls to fast food (no joke). Songs drag on for a minute or two more than they should, guest collaborators end up being either over-used or underutilized and the whole album just seems like one big dud.

Things start off with "Intro" from Timbaland and DJ Felli Fel, who brags that "with some shit like this, you don't really need an intro" ... but still gives listeners one anyway. The song is a perfect glimpse into what you're in store for: An intricate, but not necessarily toe-tapping, beat; bad sound effects in the form of Felli Fel repeating "wiki, wiki" (that's a mouth making the sound a record should make, if you didn't get it) over and over again; and Timbaland muttering about how "Timbo and friends in the house tonight." The result is an uninspired, even detached-sounding track that demonstrates how the rest of the album is going to go — with Timbaland pulling the strings, making an appearance every now and then but generally shunning the limelight.

And unfortunately, the album suffers both when Timbaland is and isn't at its center. For example, track "Carry Out," the aforementioned only one with Timberlake, is embarrassing for both of them, as they trade verses about how the object of their affection is both a bit like a fast-food meal and someone who is really hungry (you know, carnally). While Timbaland boasts, "I have you open all night like IHOP" and suggests "I'm pretty sure that you got your own recipe," Timberlake does his typical smooth-crooning thing and asks, "I'll take two number threes / That's a whole lot of you / And a side of me ... Is it full of myself / To want you full of me?" Why yes, yes it is. Oh, and before you even think it, of course there is a Supersize line buried in the whole mess. Do you even have to ask?

Similarly distressingly bad are "Tomorrow in the Bottle," which features Nickelback's Chad Kroeger (that name is enough to tell you how awful this track is, so elaboration isn't really necessary) and drags on for nearly six minutes; "We Belong to Music," which has Miley Cyrus being her normally screechy self, singing about the new two-step dance move she learned and how she wants to "party like there ain't no curfew" (it's weird she would pop up on this album — we thought, based on that much-linked Halloween interview, that she didn't listen to rap?); and ballad "Undertow," which would have worked better if it had just been The Fray and Canadian singer Esthero channeling Thom Yorke, without Timbaland's interjected "huhs" and "yeahs."

Things aren't any better when Timbaland actually raps, however — he either gets overshadowed by his collaborators or fumbles all by himself. For example, on "Lose Control" with JoJo, lines like "We be chilling like a bottle sitting on the rocks" aren't really rapped — they're just being said in a rhythmic way, without an actual flow or style that Timbaland can call his own, while on "Meet in tha Middle," former R&B singer Brandy busts our her rap alter-ego, Bran'Nu, and schools Timbaland: "I wash your dirty draws / While you out with dirty broads," she spits.

Dig deep, and you may find some tracks that aren't totally un-listenable — such as when Timbaland and Katy Perry get a solid Black Eyed Peas vibe going on "If We Ever Meet Again," which starts out slow and gets frenetically charged toward the end — but for the most part, "Shock Value 2" isn't anything that will enthrall you. Timbo may be back, baby, but he should have stayed gone — or at least behind the scenes.

Written by Express contributor Roxana Hadadi
Photo by Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images