IN A NEW example of life imitating art — if you are so bold as to call reality television art — researchers are beginning to collect examples of individuals who have delusions that they are in a reality show.

Such people are plagued with thoughts that their everyday lives are being played out for a television audience, just like Jim Carrey's character in the 1998 film "The Truman Show." The difference here, of course, is that in Truman's case, the show was real and he was unaware of it (until the very end of the film). In the case of the delusions, no show exists, but those suffering cannot be convinced of that.

My boyfriend and I are 27, have been together for three years and have lived together for two. Before we moved in together, he told me he wasn't ready for marriage but could see himself marrying me. We're still nowhere near an engagement. He has a laundry list of reasons — too young, none of his friends are married, etc. I recently asked whether he thought he'd be ready to get engaged in a year. He got upset, so we agreed to revisit in a year. I believe that it's not that he's not ready, but that he's not sure I am "the one." I'm beginning to emotionally "check out." How long is reasonable for me to wait for him? — Anonymous

These questions are tough because personality factors determine people's notions of being ready and finding "the one." There are those who knew within an hour that they'd met their match, and there are those who still second-guess those socks they bought two weeks ago. Naturally, if a couple have different styles, it can bring complications.

But the most you can do is to take this one day at a time. Your relationship is only as good as it is in the present. You're checking out; he's coming up with excuses that sound a little off-point (None of his friends are married? Puh-lease.) It seems that both of you aren't being completely honest with each other.

You're resentful because you feel like you're more invested than he is — an awful place to be. Until he can convince you that it's really a matter of when rather than who, that won't go away. But you've got to think hard about whether you're convince-able. Proposal by ultimatum seems about as romantic — and prudent — as proposal by enema. Your task is to figure out whether he — this very evening, ringless and with only his words to let you know how he feels — is enough.

IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR again—extra traffic, extra stuffing, and extra ads about a 4 a.m. sale on leather gloves.

But once again, especially in this time of economic turmoil, it also becomes important to give some thought to the meaning of Thanksgiving. No, not just the historically dubious notion of a harmonious, gut-busting gathering of buckled hats and feathered vests, but the fact that taking a moment to reflect on what there is to be grateful for in one’s life can actually have quite a positive outcome on someone’s mental health.

I've written before about the beneficial health effects of taking time to express gratitude. This year, however, it might seem more difficult than most. People are identifying higher stress levels in their lives now than they have in a long time: the added suffering is real. But the harder it is to think about all of the positive aspects of our lives, the more important it is that we do so. The worse we feel, the more we can use the mental help that a bit of being thankful can provide.

I hear two sides to this problem. On the one hand, you're dating a man who has a semi-parental role with a child whose mother is not exactly winning Miss Congeniality. Certainly, that brings challenges, logistic and emotional.

But I'm getting distracted here by the deafening foghorn of "he does not seem to be quite over his ex." This new wrinkle seems to trump any frustrations about playdates. Be honest with yourself about what in his behavior makes you feel this way — you haven't given me enough information to form an opinion. Your relationship is new; time will tell whether your ranking in his life starts to increase. In the meantime, if the pains seem to be outweighing the joys, it's time to take notice.

ANYONE WHO'S STOOD within 20 hectometers of a television this football season has had their eardrums Riverdanced upon by Toyota's "Saved By Zero" promotion. When a 3-year-old I know began singing the song during toothbrush time, I took note. And when the Post wrote about people's reactions to it (the commercial, not the toothbrushing), I knew this ad had become quite a phenomenon.

It appears there are multiple mental factors at work here. The music seems to wedge its way into people's heads — it's got that mysterious quality that makes for a memorable hook. When you like a song, that's gold. When you hate a song, that's golden sludge.

Plus, some people are aggrieved that the original song by the Fixx (whose video is good for some unintended guffaws) was co-opted, whereas others are annoyed that the commercial itself seems loud and startling. Finally, some object merely to the fact that the ad seems to run more often than the Redskins' offense.

Yes, kids often take the parent who seems to be "there" more for granted. But when I hear "always" and "never" — blame it on the contrarian in me — I usually beg to differ. Could it be that her affections, in reality, fluctuate more than you realize? (Most 3-year-olds — and I happen to know one very well — are not exactly best friends with consistency.)

Either way, it's clear that stress seems to be taking its toll. And though it's a sweet sentiment that you love your daughter with "all your heart" and she "means the world" to you, sometimes such absolution can make the daily ups and downs of life with a preschooler feel unbearable. You also have to communicate with your partner to try to establish a better balance about housework and child responsibilities. And be more assertive about carving out "me" time, establishing stress relievers and coping strategies that can help you get some breathing room and individual satisfaction.

Finally, be honest with your partner about feeling slighted, not to accuse him of being a teacher's pet, but to give him a heads-up (and perhaps to convince him to throw a We Love Mommy party).

My boyfriend loves working out and has a fantastic body as a result. I've always hit the gym, but I don't approach his level of fitness. He always tells me how attracted he is to me and that he doesn't like "waifs." But at the same time, he points out every overweight girl he sees. I feel insecure about ever gaining weight and pressured to keep up with him at the gym. Am I being ridiculous? — Concerned

I'm trying to imagine a way that "pointing out every overweight girl he sees" would not be offensive, and I'm having real difficulty.

Here's what I hear: He's a guy who obviously cares about physical fitness and walks the walk. Kudos to him. I also detect an overanalysis of how everybody else looks. Even his supposedly noble declaration of not liking waifs is, at closer inspection, another example of being judgmental. Sure, everyone has physical preferences, and he's allowed to choose accordingly. But declaring those preferences every time he sees someone who doesn't fit them sounds, at the very least, quite tiresome.

People go through stress, people give birth, and weights change. And the rigidity he seems to espouse doesn't leave room for those real-world fluctuations. That doesn't make his affections feel very security-inducing. (So, no, you're not being ridiculous.)

IT'S DONE. IT'S OVER. The proverbial fork has been stuck in, and stuck in hard. Barack Obama will be the next President of the United States.

I’ve written before about the strain that can be placed on relationships when partners are at odds politically in a campaign season, and the tension that it can cause as the race goes on. But what happens the morning after?

Every four years, hundreds of thousands of people go to bed disappointed—and not just because they are out of doughnuts. This particular election has arguably been even more contentious than most, and Republicans in particular have not had to deal with such a defeat in quite some time. How does the nation take a breath and move on?

I just started seeing a guy, and he told me that he had a kidney transplant more than five years ago. I already decided that his health would not be a deal-breaker, but he seems to avoid the topic because he says it brings back bad memories. All I want is for him to open up and include me in the issue of his health prognosis. I want to know what is ahead of me. Is that so bad? — Wondering

I feel like someone trying a vegan pizza for the first time ­— no, it's not so bad. But it's also not so bad for him to want to wait before spilling his guts about something that was probably an intensely personal experience.

You have to take into account that you "just started seeing" this guy. Just think of how long it takes in a typical relationship for certain things to come out — a gambling habit, workaholic tendencies, an obsession with Zamfir. So, it might make sense that this guy wanted to wait a bit before giving you his full health rundown.

Give it a little more time, if you can stand it. And then, as things start to feel more serious, you can gently bring up that you feel like you don't know a lot about this aspect of his life, and you'd like to hear more. But try hard not to sound like an insurance actuary: Give him a patient and empathetic ear that lets him know you're courting him, not his kidney.

IT'S HALLOWEEN AGAIN, and so it's time for the mini-skirted PussyCat doll doppelgangers, French maids, "sexy cheerleaders," "naughty nurses" and bosom-baring princesses to commence prowling the streets. And those are just the kindergarteners!

Ever since someone realized that there was a ton of money to be made by opening Halloween revelry to adults, we have seen an increasing sexualization of the holiday, most especially for women. It's become virtually impossible to find a female costume -- on a store rack or walking around at a party -- that wouldn't make your grandmother blush.