MY BOYFRIEND OF SEVERAL YEARS has begun to hate his job and wants to become an archaeologist. History is one of his hobbies, and he reads all the magazines and books about it. He knows he can't just quit and switch jobs; he'd have to go back to school. All this makes him even more irritable, which is starting to affect our relationship. I've tried to get him to do some history writing and other activities that I hoped would give him an outlet until he can pursue it full time. It hasn't worked, and he keeps getting more frustrated. I love him and want to be supportive of him, but I'm worried that his growing stress and anger will mean he'll risk losing his job and our relationship. How can I cheer him up and be supportive but at the same time persuade him to see the bigger picture? — Frustrated
Sometimes it's easy to get so obsessed with an idea — especially when Indiana Jones is involved — that the actual steps needed to achieve it get lost along the way. You're being supportive in the right ways, by encouraging him to do something tangible to move forward. Clearly, though, he's overwhelmed and getting defensive. I even wonder whether he's depressed. Help him set even smaller, realistic goals on a weekly basis that he could move toward. If the real problem is that he is incapacitated by his job misery, he'll have to refocus on getting into another job, even if it's temporary. But the more irritable he gets, the more I'm convinced he could be helped by regular counseling just as much as career counseling.
Continue Reading "Baggage Check: Getting to the Answer May Require Digging" »
N.E.D. JUST RELEASED its first album, a self-titled, six-track debut that showcases the band's range from hard rock to folk. And now it's gearing up for its first concert in D.C. this weekend. Nope, not at 9:30 Club or the Black Cat — on Pennsylvania Avenue at the end of the first-ever Gynecologic Cancer Foundation's Race to End Women's Cancer (It's not too late to register at Gcfrace.com).
Encouraging the finishers of the half-marathon and 5K races and the 1-mile walk certainly makes sense given the band's background: All six members are gynecologic oncologists. The band's name is an acronym for "No Evidence of Disease." "It's what we want to be able to write on a patient's chart," explains male lead singer John Boggess.
They first jammed together two and a half years ago at a medical society conference, and their success planted the idea that they could use their musical talent to bring attention to the diseases their patients struggle with, including cervical, ovarian and uterine cancers.
THE RIGOROUS "DANCING WITH THE STARS" schedule is sure to get anyone in shape — and probably injured — but the way most folks practice ballroom doesn't build up enough of a sweat. At least, not for Todd Borzych. That's why the pro competitor and performer developed DanceSport Endurance, a form of ballroom instruction you can learn solo while focusing on fitness.
"Ballroom and Latin dances lacked a regimented workout," explains the former military officer who discovered dance after years of studying Tae Kwon Do. So, he borrowed from his earlier training to tack on warm-up, strength conditioning and ab toning sections to traditional choreography from 13 dances, including waltz, Quickstep, cha-cha and merengue.
And once you're comfortable with that, you can try it with a partner, and sign up for one of his "boot camps" — seven-straight days of instruction on the same dance. That's probably as close to the real "Dancing With the Stars" experience as anyone would actually want. Plus, it helps promote Borzych's other goal: "I want to make the dancing world bigger in this city."
The program is currently offered in classes across Northern Virginia, and he continues to train other instructors to teach his techniques, so expect the number of classes locally to grow. But if you can't make it in person, there's also his DVD ($19.95). He plans to have a second available by Christmas.
Photo courtesy DanceSport Endurance
WHEN THE NAMES of this season's "Dancing With the Stars" contestants were announced, D.C. flipped over the appearance of Tom DeLay. But now that he's damaged goods (stress fractures in both feet forced him to go bye-bye), Washington can focus on its real star: Mya.
The 30-year-old singer/actress was born and raised in this town, and she's doing us proud by consistently scoring high marks. Her favorite part of the process: wardrobe. But she couldn't put on any of the revealing, sparkly gowns if she didn't practice day and night with partner Dmitry Chaplin.
» EXPRESS: How did you prepare for the show?
» MYA: I only found out two weeks ahead of time. So, I started doing cardio, some boxing exercises and running outside with my dog. But I haven't been back in the gym since.
» EXPRESS: Because your schedule must be crazy now, right?
» MYA: Yes, we start early Monday mornings — 7:45 a.m. — with hair and makeup, fittings, consultations, dress rehearsal. It's a full day until the show ends. The next night we stay even later, and sometimes we'll go straight from there until rehearsals. Initially, we were limited to five hours a day, but now we do up to 12 the rest of the week.
LONG BEFORE "SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE" had everyone wanting to mimic Bollywood dance steps, Sarina Jain was teaching them in health clubs. It's been a decade since she first launched Masala Bhangra, an Indian dance-inspired workout that meshes the movie moves with the folk style of Bhangra. Along the way, it manages to get your heart rate going and up your strength.
Although her regular lessons are taught only in New York, D.C. has been introduced to her program through classes at area Washington Sports Clubs. And this Friday, Masala Bhangra devotees can shake it with Jain herself at a master class at Georgetown (7-9 p.m., $20-35, Yates Field House, call 202-687-2400 to register). "We're going to have arms in the air moving and shoulders going up and down," she promises of the all-levels session. Also on tap: the butt-burning Bhangra squat.
"In my culture, we say, 'Balle, balle.' It means 'Woo!'" Jain says. Expect plenty of that, too.
Photo courtesy Jain
DONATE CALORIES to the Gold's Gym Burnathon for diabetes awareness this Saturday. Ballston (3910 Wilson Blvd.) is holding special Spinning classes, and all gyms are open to the public as they attempt to burn 180 million calories in one day.
Photo by Pete Martin for the Washington Post
COAL IN YOUR STOCKING is not a good surprise. But who wouldn't be psyched to find out that Futuro's Energizing Ultra Sheer Pantyhose ($15.99, Walgreens.com) doesn't just keep your legs warm under skirts? It's well-disguised compression hosiery that promises to boost circulation, energize your legs and give you a massage as you move.
Unfortunately, the extra tightness makes them trickier to put on than regular hose, and the color of a black pair faded in splotches down our legs. If you suffer from varicose veins, the aggravation may be worth it, but otherwise, the most energizing thing is slipping them off.
DOING THE DEW was doing Caron Butler in. So, in April, the Wizards forward and two-time All-Star did the unthinkable: He abandoned his five-can-a-day habit. "I went cold turkey on soda," Butler says. He suffered through withdrawal and headaches, but ditching the caffeine dependency was a crucial first step in his summer makeover plan. And as the season begins today, the buzz is all about how good he's looking and playing.
"I ended up losing 11 pounds. I got leaner, stronger and faster. I just feel better," Butler says. The 29-year-old — who's been playing in the NBA since 2002 — had started to sense that his career was catching up with him and knew it was time to rethink his training, which had tended to focus on basketball drills and not much else. "My body felt weaker at the end of the season. That wear and tear builds up," says Butler, who's missed at least 15 games each of the last three seasons.
So, over the summer, he partnered with a pal from high school — Eric M. Harris, who's now a sports performance enhancement specialist — and they got down to business. That meant not touching a ball or thinking about dribbling for nearly two months while they instead honed his core strength, improved his flexibility and boosted his speed. "We did a lot of running at first just to get his body in shape for what we were going to do," says Harris.
I AM SO FED UP with my in-laws. I have been married for eight years that have been good overall. But I don't know whether I can take his parents anymore. His father has never accepted me. His mother has always seemed to like his previous girlfriend better, and disagrees with child-rearing and other lifestyle decisions I make. Our finances, house and especially my job are constantly criticized. My husband is sympathetic with me but doesn't really do anything. They are getting older, and I am picturing taking care of them and I just don't see it happening. I don't want this to break up our marriage, but I feel my connection to my husband weakening. — Miserable, NW
I could say that this is between you and your in-laws, but it's not. It's about the person who's between you and your in-laws, and that is your husband.
Their effect on you should be able to be moderated by him, plain and simple. That means he should step in when they are belittling you, be your sounding board when you are frustrated, talk to them independently to let them know what is acceptable, and even limit your contact with them if it comes to that. No, he shouldn't have to divorce his family to be married to you, but by choosing you as his spouse, he vowed to do his best not to sit by while you're being made miserable. Talk to him. Let him know how bad this is getting, and how you're having trouble dealing. The fraying of the bond between you might best be served by counseling, but even short of that, he needs to be willing to be on your side to solve this together — and you need to see that he cares. In the meantime, when they start in with the attacks, feel free to change the subject or even quietly leave the room if things get disrespectful.
Continue Reading "Baggage Check: Out-of-Control In-Laws Require Hubby Action" »
SINCE THE FIRST edict in "The Runner's Rule Book" ($17.99, Rodale) is "Have fun," it seemed that author Mark Remy — executive editor of Runnersworld.com — would have some ideas for guys slipping into stilettos (like this Sarah Palin look-alike last year) tonight for the High Heel Race on 17th Street NW.
First, let's talk common courtesy. "If you know you don't have a realistic chance to win, don't stand in front of people who might," Remy says. Folks in large races often start ahead of where they should, which is a big no-no. And when heels are involved, slowpokes could be in real danger.
Also, don't try to sprint the race cold. Remy suggests light jogging ahead of time, preferably in flats. As for what to wear, he says comfort comes first, which may not be the easiest rule to follow tonight. But bonus points for anyone with a wicking boa.
Photo by Toni L. Sandys/The Washington Post
Addison Road