BRUCE LEE is an icon. To some, he's a hero. And I'm sure lots of folks would be interested in learning more about him.
But how big a fan do you have to be to sit through 50 installments, clocking in at an hour each, on the actor's life?
John Adams helped lead the American Revolution, went to Europe, was our country's second president and lived more than 90 years, and all he got was seven hours!
But Bruce Lee could totally have kicked his ass. So there's that, I guess.
FORGET ABOUT YOUR 401(k) with this bit from Funny or Die: What if the lyrics in music videos described the action in the video?
There you go. Don't worry about the mortgage. Or retirement. Just waaaaaaaaaatch. Let the nostalgia take you away.
SO BARACK OBAMA is attacking John McCain about his role in the Keating Five scandal. And Sarah Palin's going after Obama for his alleged ties to a member of the Weather Underground. Accusations are being thrown. Could politics get any more vicious?
Sure. What if Obama slashed McCain with a sword? Or if Palin smacked Biden with — what else — a hockey stick?
It can happen. And you can control the characters. And if you check out this election-themed Mortal Kombat-style game and still manage to put in a full afternoon's work, there's something wrong with you.
AMONG THE MAGAZINES that will feature Barack Obama's face on its cover in November: Men's Health.
MY FELLOW AMERICANS, in light of the financial crisis facing our country, I have decided to suspend my blog and head to Washington to help our government come up with a solution.
This is a time for all of us to come together to solve this problem. Besides, it's only a short Metro ride.
SO THERE'S THIS news about Clay Aiken. Supposedly uttered by Clay himself.
I don't believe it.
Absolutely not.
Can't possibly be.
Rumor and innuendo.
Did you hear something?
OH, INTERNETS. You always turn our collective frown upside down.
Dear American:I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.
I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.
Read the rest here.
SO THE BAILOUT that the federal government is mulling to get the country out of the mortgage crisis could top $700 billion. That sounds like a lot of money. But how much can $700 billion really buy? Let's find out.
» PENS: We've been having to write a lot of checks lately, so it'd be good to stock up on pens -- we'll go for those nice Uni-ball ones. Since they sell for $18.99 a dozen, the government's bailout could buy us almost 442,338,072,670 of them from Staples. Don't worry, Wall Street, you can get them with red ink.
» KLEENEX: Whether you're suffering from allergies or sobbing over the state of your finances, facial tissue is a must this time of year. We'll go for the name brand, which costs $2.19 a box at Giant. Our $700 billion haul: 319,634,703,196 boxes — enough to keep the nose of every man, woman and child in the country grime-free with more than 1,000 boxes each.
» A GALLON OF MILK: It's an old economic bellwether — a standby for economists who want to show how this thing or that affects the country at large. At Safeway, a gallon of 1 percent costs $3.99. If the government made our tax money more liquid, we could be swimming in 175,438,596,491 gallons.
WANT TO KILL a couple of hours in a flash? Log on to yearbookyourself.com. All you need is one forward-profile picture and you can have hours of fun pasting your face into myriad miserable poses from years past.
Since I'm not photogenic, I used the faces of the Men Who Would Be President, John McCain and Barack Obama.
These are the results:
The '70s seem to be Obama's decade. Although he looks surprisingly photogenic with a mullet.
McCain spent most of the '80s in the halls of Congress, but if he'd been in high school, he'd have had all the gals.
IF SO, you could be in for a change soon.
Addison Road