IF YOU BELIEVE the fine print boasting on its packaging, pheromone-enhanced Ten by Intense body lotion should leave its wearer irresistible to, well, just about anyone.
"Pheromones," the tube helpfully informs us, "are known to create sexual attractions between individuals." And Ten's two scoops of sexy are supposed to give the wearer "a boost of self-confidence and a secret weapon to attract others." All for just $30! (Buy it at Amazon.) Take that, self-help industry!
So it was with a twinge of excitement, coupled with a sensation of dread, that we slathered some on — watch out, that goop flies out fast — and bravely stepped out into the world.
And that's where our heightened expectations met cold reality. Our boosted self-confidence began to ebb when, predictably, we weren't mobbed by attractive people lured to our side by Ten's pleasing baby formula-meets-cotton candy scent.
The only unusual attention we received was from a tourist dude in a Gilligan hat on the Metro who kept elbowing us in the side as he read his newspaper, and a creepy guy at Safeway whose focused gaze bored into our soul. Which, at least for a moment, made us wish we didn't smell so nice.
WE HANDED THE Dermalogica Shave System to a male tester whose shaving habits were only slightly more sophisticated than Barbasol and a disposable Bic.
Despite the fact that the combination of Pre Shave Guard ($16, see Dermalogica.com for stores) and Soothing Shave Cream ($16) continually clogged his razor, he deemed the pair "pretty good" and thought the Post Shave Balm ($26) was "kinda slimy but nice." This guy is so articulate he should be doing Geico commercials. Ugg like shave goo! Ooga!
Written by Express contributor Erin Clements Rushing
THE SPICY-SMELLING Aveda Men Pure-Formance Exfoliating Shampoo ($24, Aveda.com) claims to be a veritable full spa treatment for the male head. First, walnut grains and jojoba beads exfoliate the scalp ("It was like shampooing with sand," said one tester). Then it soothes the skin it just scrubbed the bejesus out of with some other food-related ingredients, like licorice extract.
Our victim, who has very thick hair, couldn't figure out how to tell whether it worked, speculating that perhaps you need a crew-cut or a bald spot to feel the full effect. And to wash it out effectively,— he had to rinse for longer than usual to get the grains out.
IF HE KNOWS what's good for him, your guy's about to lay down some major dough. Since you're going to have to reciprocate in one way or another, you might as well get him a Valentine's Day present you'll enjoy, too. Follow our gift guide, and he'll smell good, look good, broaden his movie repertoire and serve drinks sans Solo cups. No word yet on advancements in the field of ESPN repellent.
HERE'S AN ARGUMENT no couple should die without having: Is "Converse" a plural or singular noun? Example: "Honey, should I refer to those two pairs of stinky, disgusting Chuck Taylors as your 'Converse' or your 'Converses'?" Conversi? Conversices? Conversae? A complete declension of this noun is probably impossible, but the question still stands.
Of course, to stage this debate, one must first have multiple pairs of the sneaker in question. And even the canvas ones are pricey these days — a pair of low-top men's Chucks (also known as All Stars) are $42 at Zappos.com.
Thus, the opening of the Converse online outlet is a major deal for fans. Go to Converse.com/outlet for nearly 400 styles; the ones pictured cost, from top down, $28 (from $47), $36 (from $60) and $33 (from $55). We suggest the uppermost pair, which depicts tiny broken hearts, for the spinster in your life.
As if that's not enough from the confusingly named brand, a new line of One Star clothes and shoes is selling at Target. (One Stars look like All Stars with a few differences in grommets, stitching, etc.) The six men's pairs go for $30 to $40.
And we say the plural's just "Converse."
Photos courtesy Converse.com
"SURE, THERE'S A MEN'S WAREHOUSE, but how frequently does one need a new suit? What I'm talking about are a wider variety of stores to browse where there is a good chance of finding something worth buying. Hell, if they put in a Banana Republic, that would probably cover 80% of my wardrobe right there."
— Local blogger Silver Spring Singular decrying the state of shopping for men in downtown Silver Spring.» "Where the Stores Aren't" [Silver Spring Singular]
File photo by James M. Thresher/The Washington Post
DIRT. GRIME. Body odor. Turf. Those are the smells of the Super Bowl, right? Pshah, we say! In an advertising coup de grace, Stetson Cologne has announced that New England Patriots QB Tom Brady is the latest face of its product. (Head to Stetsoncologne.com to see his mug everywhere on the site; alas, it is not scratch-and-sniff).
Honestly, folks, nothing says Super Bowl domination like a whiff of "zesty lemon" and "dewy citrus" ($12) that's sold at CVS. We'll call it the smell of stat success.
Photo by Rick Stewart/Getty Images
CORK, STUFFER OF wine jugs, cladder of trees and coverer of bulletin boards, also makes quite fetching jewelry, as shown by Studio 1 a.m.'s sleek cuff ($48).
Cut from a single piece of the spongey tree underlayer, the unisex wrist candy also comes with a cool, C-shaped block holder.
AS ONE-FIFTH of the "Queer Eye" team, interior designer Thom Filicia spiffed up the homes of style-challenged dudes from surfers to mountain men. On his latest show, "Dress My Nest" (Wed. at 11 p.m.), now in its second season on the Style Network, he focuses his color-finding, furniture-refinishing and space-changing skills on the fairer sex.
» EXPRESS: On the show, you peek into women's closets for inspiration on redoing their pads. Why?
» FILICIA: Their closets act as a springboards. Women are confident with buying cute shoes. They shouldn't be intimidated by what to do with their homes. It's about marrying a fashion aesthetic with decor.
» EXPRESS: Many of the people on "Dress My Nest" don't have huge budgets. What's the secret to cheap chic?
» FILICIA: Know your style, and you can go out and get a few inexpensive things and mix them with expensive pieces.
» EXPRESS: What else should thrifty folks do when decorating?
» FILICIA: Editing is important — sometimes it gives a whole new look. Lots of times, people just have way too many things. If you have five dining chairs, they don't always have to be out. Put one in a bedroom!
THE FASHION REVOLUTION continues. Men, no longer afraid of style, are reclaiming classics like inky Levi's, natty blazers and now, the necktie. But a funny thing happened on the way from the cubicle.
Today's cravats have been slimmed down and hipped up — making it much cooler for guys to stick their necks out. After all, Oscar Wilde once wrote, "A well-tied tie is the first serious step in life."
» 1) Great American Novelty
Nobody said neckwear couldn't be fun — just steer clear of blinking holiday lights or cartoon characters.
(1) A punky, safety-pin pattern from Psycho Bunny. ($110, Neiman Marcus) (2) Skulls and polka dots on silk. ($68, Rugby, 1065 Wisconsin Ave NW; 202-298-5928) (3) The "Marie Antoinette" tie. ($40, Cyberoptix.com) (4) Buffalo-check Rogan handkerchief tie. ($100, Barneys Co-Op)
» 2) Woolly Is Mammoth
When the mercury plummets, a wool tie can add both warmth and texture over shirts or under sweaters.
(1) Herringbone pattern from Z Zegna. ($115, Saks Fifth Avenue Men's Store, 5300 Wisconsin Ave.; 202-363-2059) (2) Steven Alan flannel plaid. ($59, Bluebee.com) (3) Embroidered bears by Hickey. ($118, Hickeystyle.com)
Continue Reading "Styles: Ties Get Slimmed Down, Hipped Up" »
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